Chapter 44 — Obsession

_March 7, 1984, Chicago, Illinois_

{psc} "Impressive self-control," Alexa said as we dressed after our modeling session.

I'd been reclined on what Claire had called a 'marriage couch', which was a type of sofa from India. It was designed for reclining, with a high back and side on one end and a lower side and back on the other end. I had lain on my back, with Alexa lying half on me and half on the couch cushion, with my arm around her and her head on my chest.

"Context is everything," I said. "Your body feels great, but with four guys watching, my brain basically turns off my libido. Now that I think about it, I understand why a gay guy would be better."

Alexa nodded, "No real risk of an erection. What if the class were just girls?"

"That might be different," I replied with a grin.

She laughed, "Sophie indicated you had entertained more than one girl at a time."

"Sophie talks too much," I replied, though I smiled to show I wasn't annoyed.

"Not enough to tell me what I was going to see! Can I say something, and have you just let it go if it bothers you?"

"Sure."

"I'd like to get together sometime."

The way she'd said that, along with her body language and facial expression, made it clear that 'get together' meant fool around. She was attractive, and I was interested, but my concern was doing that might lead to an embarrassing problem.

"Ask me again when we're done modeling," I said.

"Count on it!" she declared.

When we finished dressing, Alexa opened the door and stepped out, with Claire stepping in before I could walk out.

"Do you have a minute?" she asked.

"I do," I replied.

She shut the door and moved to stand in front of me.

"I wondered if you'd help me with an experiment when the semester ends."

"What kind of experiment?" I asked.

She laughed softly, "Physiology. I want to see if I can deep-throat that monster you have in your briefs!"

I almost laughed but managed not to. At dinner, Deanna had hinted that Claire might be interested, and I'd agreed it was possible, given her expression on Monday night. I felt the best answer was the one I'd just given Alexa.

"Ask me again in May, please," I said with a smile.

"You can take that to the bank!" she declared. "Thanks for modeling for us."

"You're welcome!"

I left the office and saw Deanna waiting with one of the girls from class. When I walked over, Deanna winked and walked away.

"Hi," the cute dark-haired girl said. "I'm Stefi."

"Jonathan, though I'm sure you knew that."

"I did. Here's my number. If you're not doing anything on Saturday night, call me."

I accepted the piece of paper that had her name and number and put it in my pocket.

"I'll call you either way tomorrow," I said.

"Thanks! Good night!"

"Good night!"

She walked away, and Deanna came over to me.

"As I said!" she smirked. "Rick warned off the other guys."

We began walking towards the doors.

"They'd be wasting their time," I said.

"What did Stefi want?"

I decided to be a smart ass.

"The same thing all you girls want!" I said. "I'm just a piece of ass!"

Deanna laughed, "Nice role reversal!"

"I was kidding, obviously, but there is some truth to it. Claire propositioned me."

"I told you that would happen."

"Sure, but do you know _what_ her proposition was?"

"Besides the obvious?"

"She wanted help with a physiology experiment; one that no sane, rational guy could resist."

"I can guess, but go ahead and say it."

"To see if she could, and I'm quoting here, deep-throat the monster in my briefs."

Deanna laughed, "And yet, because you made the comment about a sane, rational guy, you either declined or put her off."

"She did say it would be May, after class ends, which makes sense. I suggested she ask again in May. I said the same thing to Alexa when she propositioned me."

"And Stefi?"

"I have a day to think about it, and I could always say I was busy or whatever. Do you know anything about her?"

"Just that she's from some small town in Oklahoma that, according to her, has two churches and one gas station and is a hundred miles from anything interesting to do."

"Goshen was a heck of a lot closer to Cincinnati, and I rarely made it there, so that I can relate. What about Britney?"

"San Diego. She's a military brat. Her dad is a Marine major, and her mom is a Navy Lieutenant Commander. Those are the same rank, according to her."

"I don't think the military has many calls for artists, so she's clearly not following in her parents' footsteps!"

"True."

We caught a cab back to the Hancock Center.

"Have you decided about posing for her?"

"I'm leaning towards it because I'm strongly considering posing for CeCi. If I decide against modeling for CeCi, then I won't for Britney."

"I didn't check, but what's the next set of poses?"

"Side by side in bed with the sheets pulled up to your waists on Monday; standing slightly offset with Alexa wearing your unbuttoned shirt on Wednesday. The following week is Spring Break. After Spring Break, it'll mostly be clothed — swim trunks for you and a bikini for her, for example. Casual clothes and sunglasses for another session. In one session, Claire will bring in bikes. Basically, it's all about the relationship."

"Why not do all those first?"

"Because the full-body nudes are the most important ones, and she wanted to get those out of the way in case either of you were to drop out for any reason. It's far easier to find models when nudity isn't required. It would kind of mess up the series, but it would be played as a breakup."

"Interesting. Have you received any grades?"

"The grade comes from the finished portfolio. So far, it's just the critiques you've heard in class. Well, and the private one to Adriana for drawing you smaller than Michelangelo's _David_."

"I'd simply pass it off as artistic license," I said. "Why stir up trouble?"

"Because Adriana didn't follow the rubric. It's like the pottery I'm going to have to do. I do not have ANY interest, but it's part of my degree curriculum."

"Art teacher, right?"

"Yes. Ultimately, a Master of Fine Arts in Education. So, I can't just ignore the rubric because I don't like it. If they want me to make a mug, I'll make a mug and do my best."

"That makes sense."

"It's like any other thing anyone has to do for class. I'm sure you've had assignments you didn't like."

"Not really. I bet I will in my English and sociology courses this Summer!"

"In High School?"

"That's why. I positively hated writing book reports in grade school and term papers for English in High School. I didn't mind them for history classes, but writing ten pages about a book I hated was the worst. How about you?"

"Science. I really didn't care for biology, chemistry, or physics; anatomy was interesting."

"Uh-huh," I chuckled as the cab pulled up in front of the Hancock Center.

After I paid the cabbie, we got out and headed to my car.

"It wasn't human reproduction!" Deanna exclaimed. "But I enjoyed learning about how all the organ systems work. That was far more interesting than plants and animals, chemical formulas, and physics experiments."

"What did you think of art class?"

"It was OK, but I was way ahead of everyone else. Music class, too."

We reached my car, got in, and headed home. At home, we watched the 10:00pm news, and when it finished, I joined Deanna in her room.

_March 8, 1984, Chicago, Illinois_

On Thursday, after work, Bianca, Jack, and I went to the condo to meet Natasha so I could see her drawings.

"As you can see from this overhead plan, I have your segregated area for your projection TV and eight comfortable chairs at the end of the open space, against the wall. That avoids blocking any windows. Next to that is what I call the conversation pit — a group of sectional furniture pieces set in a 'U' with the open space towards the windows. Next to that is room for a pool table or grand piano, and finally, at the other end with the windows, is the dining room table that seats twelve."

"Grand piano or pool table?" I asked.

"My idea," Bianca said. "I mentioned it to Deanna."

"The other option is simply to leave it open as a mingling space," Natasha suggested. "The den on this floor I left off, as I understand it's going to be similar to your front room."

"Correct," I said.

"Then the last piece is chairs along the kitchen breakfast bar, which will seat six."

"That floorplan looks good," I said.

"The upstairs floorplan is simple, really — six bedrooms plus the sitting space at the top of the stairs. I have two concepts for that — one is a pair of couches, and the other is casual, with beanbag chairs, floor cushions, or something similar. I think the casual option might be better because it could be a play space for your daughter."

"I like that idea," I said.

"The bedrooms would all have low, wooden pedestal beds with mattresses but no box springs. That's more of a European style, which I think you'll like. Each room would also have either a desk or a wardrobe, depending on individual choice. The two larger rooms will also have a love seat."

"So far, so good."

"Then let me show you the perspective sketches."

We all looked them over, and they looked fantastic. My biggest concern was the cost of the furniture, but I could do it piecemeal if I needed to, with the second batch being in July when I received my second-quarter payout.

"Fantastic," I said.

"Talk about 'high society'!" Jack said, shaking his head. "Great stuff, but way out of my price at the moment."

"Just hang in there," I said. "You'll get here. Natasha, what about the windows?"

"Except in the TV area, a dual system with a light-colored cloth blind with a fairly open weave and a darker, more closed weave cloth blind. The darker color would be for daytime to cut the light and reduce the strain on the wall air conditioning units. The lighter one is for the evenings so you can see out while entertaining. Close both, and you keep the heat in during the winter nights. By the TV, the darker blind would be blackout, so there's no glare."

"That all makes sense."

"The bedrooms would all have blackout blinds as their second blind."

"Automatic or manual blinds?" Bianca asked.

"Either will work," Natasha said. "Personally, I'd go with automatic for the downstairs and manual for the four bedrooms and the upstairs sitting area. I have paint samples and fabric samples for furniture, which I'll leave with you. I think it's best to leave the walls downstairs matte eggshell white, and with gloss in the kitchen because it's easier to clean.

"For the bedrooms, the same color, but with borders in each room to match the bedding. Those are mix and match, and you could do all the rooms the same, all different, or however you wanted. For the room that is going to be the gallery, I have a scheme that Dee and I worked out, and you can see it in this drawing."

"That's going to be really sharp," Bianca said. "I love the lighting."

"It's gallery-style," Natasha said. "The only concern there is the electrical, but I spoke to an electrician to see if it could be done, and he suggested running the power behind the baseboards and using conduit to get to the lights. You can see that in the drawing."

"Awesome stuff," I said. "Impressive work. For the blinds and electrical, I'm going to use Brown Construction or a contractor they suggest. For the rest of it, I'll sit down and determine a budget, and then I'd like you and Deanna to simply execute your plan."

"Just like that?" Natasha asked.

"Just like that!"

"I need you to sign some releases so I can use the drawings and photos for class."

"Come to the kitchen, and I'll sign."

"Mind if I wander around?" Jack asked.

"Not at all."

Bianca went with Jack, and Deanna followed Natasha and me to the kitchen. She handed me a pen and three forms she'd filled in. I read them and signed them, then handed them to her.

"How much can I compensate you without you getting into trouble?"

"The only rule is you can't pay me for anything I submit."

"So I could, say, pay you an hourly rate for choosing the furniture and bedding?"

"Yes."

"OK. I'll factor that into my budget. As we agreed, you're welcome to show your professor at any time, and after that, we'll work out any showings you might want to do."

"I can't tell you how grateful I am!" she exclaimed.

She stepped over to me and hugged me tightly,

"But I could show you!" she whispered into my ear.

I hugged her back, and when I lowered my arms, she stepped back.

"When the work is done, we'll celebrate," I said.

"I'm looking forward to it!" she exclaimed.

Jack and Bianca returned, and the five of us left the condo. In the lobby, we bade Natasha 'goodbye', then the four of us headed to the parking garage to get my car.

"She did an amazing job for only being a Freshman," I observed.

"She's been doing this since she was fourteen, though mostly just for herself, her family, and a few friends."

"She's going to be very successful," I said.

"That she will!" Deanna agreed.

When we arrived home, we ate dinner that Juliette had prepared, and then I went up to my room to call Stefi. I'd contemplated what to do sporadically through the day and on the drive home, decided it was worth testing the waters, similar to with Kayleigh, though without the Catholic baggage.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Jonathan; is this Stefi?"

"It is. Hi!"

"Would you like to have dinner on Saturday evening and see _Against All Odds_?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed happily.

"I can pick you up at 5:00pm. Do you live in the dorms?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll see you on Saturday."

"Great!"

We said 'goodbye', and after I hung up, I went downstairs to hang out with my housemates. As usual, I went to bed after the 10:00pm news, but by myself.

_March 9, 1984, Chicago, Illinois_

Late on Friday morning, my phone rang.

"Research, Kane," I said after picking up the handset.

"Mr. Jonathan Kane?" a male voice said.

"Yes."

"Mr. Kane, my name is Larry Walsh, an attorney in Milford, Ohio. I represent Miss Beverly Newton, and I have a subpoena to take a deposition from you."

"I've provided an affidavit to Stefan Chojnicki at Barnes and Walden," I said. "Everything I know is in that affidavit, and I have no plans to come to Ohio in the near future."

"I can take steps to enforce the subpoena," he said.

"Yes, you can. I'm represented by Ms. Gwen Meyer, and from this point on, you need to speak to her. Let me give you her address, phone number, and fax."

"Fine," he said, sounding annoyed.

I provided the information, and after he repeated it back, we ended the call. I called Gwen to let her know, and her assistant said she was on the phone with Mr. Walsh and would call me back, most likely after lunch. I let him know when I'd be back from the gym, then called Stefan Chojnicki to let him know. He was in court, but his secretary promised to relay the message.

I was, frankly, tired of Bev, and there was no way I was going to do anything to help her when all she needed to do was call her parents and reconcile to put an end to the nonsense. Her situation was far removed from the one with my grandparents, who had kicked my mom out, refused any contact with her, and rebuffed my attempt to reconcile. I wondered if I should make another attempt, but the fact that they had boycotted both my wedding to Keiko and her funeral meant any attempt would likely be fruitless.

I had lunch with Bianca and Violet as usual, then Violet and I went to the gym. I returned to the office, and about ten minutes later, Gwen Meyer called.

"That is one unhappy attorney," Ms. Meyer said.

"Tell me something I could possibly care less about," I countered.

She laughed, "Oh, I know. I was just letting you know he's not going to give up. I reiterated your refusal to travel to Ohio, and he made it clear that the affidavit was insufficient in his mind. He said he intends to enforce the subpoena, so I asked him to have the court send me a certified copy of the subpoena. That'll delay them until at least Monday or Tuesday. Once I receive it, I'll draft a response to the court stating the facts and ask for the subpoena to be quashed. If that works, it's over, though he could try again if this goes to trial."

"You should make it clear to him, if you haven't, that I'm going to do his client far more harm than good, given our past relationship."

"Of that, I have no doubt, but he obviously thinks he has some angle. Remember, Bev is feeding him information so he will very likely know every intimate secret the two of you ever shared."

"Wonderful," I said, my voice conveying my annoyance. "If the Ohio judge won't quash the subpoena, what happens?"

"Mr. Walsh will have to hire counsel here in Illinois to enforce it. In my motion to quash, I'll make it clear we intend to oppose that and notify Mr. Walsh that I reject any _ex parte_ hearings in Illinois. If he tries that, we'll have the subpoena quashed and file a motion for sanctions against whichever attorney he uses here."

"Can this hurt anything Jim and Julie Newton are doing?"

"At worst, your affidavit would be deemed inadmissible because they were unable to cross-examine you. But that actually doesn't help them because Family Services in Ohio _can_ use the affidavits if they so choose and base their reports on them. There is literally nothing he can do to stop that, which gets your testimony in through the back door. And yes, that's all perfectly legal and conforms to how things work here as well."

"OK. Charge this time to me, and don't worry about Stefan Chojnicki trying to get it back from Bev or her attorney."

"That will make life easier for all of us. Thanks. I'll be in touch when round two begins."

"Thanks, Gwen."

We said 'goodbye', I hung up, and unsurprisingly, Bianca came into my office, closing the door behind her.

"How bad?"

"Lawyer games. It'll cost me a few hundred bucks, but it's worth it. According to Gwen, there is literally no way for him to enforce an out-of-state subpoena, given I've filed an affidavit. What he can do is argue against my affidavit being admitted into evidence, but that won't matter because it will be filed with Family Services, who can base their report on it and admit it themselves."

"Sneaky! What can they do?"

"Try to get a judge here to enforce the subpoena, but that's unlikely. The worst-case scenario is they get to depose me here, and I wreck their case because I was nice in my affidavit. I said just enough to ensure Jim and Julie keep Heather until Bev gets her shit together but not enough to harm her long-term. Think about all the stuff I know and could say."

"Then why is her attorney pressing? You'd think he'd drop it and have her counter anything you said."

"Gwen Meyer's theory is she's fed him something he thinks will help. I have no idea what she said, obviously, but she has absolutely nothing. Could she make me look bad? Sure. But not nearly as bad as she'll look if they depose."

"You are really angry with her, aren't you?"

"Not angry, just frustrated because she could solve this by simply going to her parents and reconciling. That appears to be so beyond the pale for her that she can't do it even to get Heather back."

"She's irrational."

"And has been since she learned that Glen is Heather's father. And I know literally everything."

"Unless she lied to you."

"OK, sure, about some details, but who are they going to believe at this point? The 'stand up' guy or the irrational, erratic woman? And are they going to give her Heather when Heather has the first truly stable situation she's known, except the brief period after she was born, but think about who was caring for her then."

"Bev's mom while she was in school."

"Yes. Anyway, I've seriously had enough of her, and I'll leave it to Gwen Meyer and Stefan Chojnicki. I'm done with Bev."

"Words I couldn't imagine coming out of your mouth six months ago."

"I know."

"On another note, I let Mrs. Peterson know my last day before maternity leave will be April 6th, no matter what. I'm already starting to get tired in the afternoons, so I might move that back a week."

"Just let me know and make sure Steve is up to speed on anything he needs to cover for you."

"Will do. When do you create your budget for next year?"

"September. Make sure you let me know what toys you want and if you need another staff member."

"We have a backlog, but it's not too bad. Tony is prioritizing requests from the desks over Research, but you're getting some time. If you think your stuff is falling too far behind what you want, then it will be time to hire."

"OK. Just keep me posted. We have about six months before we need to construct the first budget document."

"Will do."

She left, I went back to work, and at 5:00pm, I headed downstairs to meet Jack, Kristy, CeCi, the boys, and Rick. Everyone was twenty-one, which meant we could go anywhere, so we decided to go to Jazz Showcase for dinner and a show. Rick fit right in, and we had a good time eating great food, drinking, and listening to fantastic music.

"I'm glad you're back to your usual self," Costas said when we left the club just before midnight.

"Me, too," I said.

Jack, Kristy, CeCi, and I bade the others 'good night' and headed home. I'd made sure I'd only drank pop after 10:00pm, so I didn't run any risks with the Chicago cops, but I still drove more carefully than usual. At home, I parked in the garage, and we all went into the house.

"If you want to sleep together, I'll join you in your room," I said to CeCi.

She smiled broadly, grabbed my hand, and led me to her bedroom.

"You have to be up early for class, right?" she asked as we undressed.

"Yes, so I do want to get enough sleep, and I'd rather we're tender and loving than athletic."

"Me, too," she agreed.

_March 10, 1984, Chicago, Illinois_

When the alarm went off on Saturday morning, CeCi got out of bed with me and followed me to my shower. I turned on the taps, and once the water was warm, we stepped in.


"Am I the first one since Keiko?"

"No. I was with Deanna a few times, but I asked her to keep it private. She and I had several very deep conversations, and it was just the natural thing to do. I don't expect you to say anything to anyone, but just in case, the knowledge isn't for anyone outside the house."

"I wouldn't tell anyone," CeCi said. "Nobody knows I've slept with you except our housemates and Shelly. Heck, nobody knows I've had sex except them, and only you and Dee know firsthand."

"Tell me it's none of my business if you want, but you weren't with anyone else?"

"No. It just didn't seem right because I was your regular Friday date, and then, well, when Keiko received her terminal diagnosis, I decided I'd be there for you in any way I could, which meant not being with anyone else."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't realize."

"There's no need to apologize! I wanted to go out with you, and I wanted to help you. That's on me, not you. I'm here for you any way you need, and I know Dee and Bianca are as well."

"I appreciate that."

"Just tell me what you need, and I'll do it."

"Thanks."

"Can I ask why we were in my bed for the first time ever? I mean, I can guess, but it's safer to ask."

"I'm still working through everything that happened, and I'm not quite ready to be in our bed with anyone else. I may just wait until we move when I'll have a new bed and new bedding."

"OK. As I said, just tell me what you need."

"Right now, I need a shower so I can get to Violet's for breakfast and then go to class."

We quickly washed ourselves, dried off, and CeCi went back to her room to dress. I dressed, went downstairs, and left the house. Twenty-five minutes later, Violet let me into her house so we could have breakfast. After breakfast, I went to class, then returned to Violet's house for lunch. We had a good time, and she didn't raise the question of the kiss, so I let it be. I was positive she'd ask, and it was only a matter of time. A very positive note was that she'd had coffee with Kallie, a girl in her class.

I received a tight hug and soft kiss on the cheek that was full of promise, then walked to my car. On the way home, I stopped at Jewel for groceries and at the dry cleaners. When I arrived home, I put away the groceries, hung up my suits and shirts, then sat down at my desk to work out a budget for Natasha to decorate the condo.

My cash flow from my properties, including the house, would be net positive with the rent I'd agreed with Jack and Kristy. My total expenses for the condo, the association fee, utilities, and property taxes, taking into account the rent Bianca, Juliette, and CeCi would pay, accounted for less than half of my monthly salary. The remainder of my expenses did not eat up the remainder of my after-tax take-home pay. That meant that my quarterly payout was unencumbered by expenses, as were any bonuses.

I came up with a total amount I felt I could spend, split across April and July, but with about 80% in April, given I'd have the extra money from MTB. I created a spreadsheet with the 'rooms', even though the main living space was simply open, and prioritized them — four bedrooms and the nursery, the kitchen stools, then the TV area, then the dining area, then the conversation pit, the 'play' space upstairs, then the open area, which I decided should have a pool table, and finally, the gallery. The new Japanese room wasn't part of that, as I had everything except the «tatami» flooring and a futon. The flooring was on its way from Japan, and I'd buy the futon at Pier 1.

As I reviewed everything, I realized how easy it would be to get into the position of many of the traders — illiquid and house-poor. I reverified my numbers, checked my carried interest and my investment in the Spurgeon Select fund, and was happy that even in the worst-case scenario where I lost my job, I'd have enough assets to survive two full years without any income, something I felt was highly unlikely both in terms of losing my job and in not being able to land on my feet at another firm.

Satisfied that I had a financially sound plan, I printed the spreadsheet and took it to Deanna, who was in her studio.

"These numbers are…never mind, I've said that too many times now! I'll get together with Tasha, and we'll get the ball rolling. Who's going to install the Japanese mats?"

"Brown Construction can do it," I said. "I put Marcus Washington in touch with someone Ichirō recommended in California who has done a number of them. They also know you or Natasha will be in touch about the electrical and blinds."

"It wasn't mentioned on Thursday, but did you see she had the Bonsai plants on stands along the windows in the…what are we calling that?"

"The main living space," I replied. "And yes, I saw that. I also noticed she'd drawn in other plants. Just match her drawings, and I'll be very happy."

"I know you well enough that you did, but I'm going to ask — did you run these numbers to ensure you aren't overextending yourself?"

"I did, but I appreciate the sanity check. I already set aside what you'll need for Ateljé D from my bonus check, and the check for the 'preview guarantee' will cover almost all of the remodeling."

"You'd fail a sanity check, Mr. Kane!" Deanna teased.

"No kidding!" I chuckled. "Don't forget you need to go to the leasing office and have your photo taken for your building ID."

"I won't forget!"

"OK. I'm going to get ready for my date. Don't wait up, Mom!"

Deanna laughed, "There's a fantasy I'm sure you never had."

"OK, the Greek legend aside, is that actually a thing?"

"According to my psych class in High School, it is. If you think about it, all those Greek myths are about observed human behavior, often attributed to gods or demigods. So, there is some truth to it. You obviously know about the Oedipus Complex, but do you know about the corresponding female one for their dad?"

"Electra, wasn't it?"

"Yes. It's basically a girl's psychosexual competition with her mother for possession of her father. However, there was a huge debate between Freud and Jung over it, and there is some controversy. Anyway, go get your shower so you can pick up Stefi on time!"

I left Deanna's studio, and about forty-five minutes later, I was holding the door of my Le Barron so Stefi could get in.

"Italian OK?" I asked as I pulled away from the curb.

"Yes!" Stefi agreed.

I made the short drive to the restaurant on Monroe and took advantage of their valet parking service. We went inside, I selected the more elegant of the three restaurants and we were seated quickly.

"Deanna tells me you're from Oklahoma," I said.

"A place nobody ever heard of — Canton, population 750. It's literally in the middle of nowhere and is surrounded by farms."

"That's actually not too different from where I'm from — Goshen, Ohio, with a similarly small population. But it's only twenty-five miles to Cincinnati."

"Canton is a hundred miles from Oklahoma City, and it's about the same size as Cincinnati, I think. You at least have a baseball team and a football team!" Stefi declared. "No such thing in Oklahoma City."

A waiter came and took our drink orders, but because Stefi was under twenty-one, we ordered pop.

"What degree are you seeing?" I asked.

"A BA in graphic design," she replied. "What exactly do you do?"

"I'm a licensed securities professional. My main role is Head of Research at Spurgeon Capital, but I'm also what the public would call a stockbroker, though I'm actually a fund manager."

"You're only twenty or so, right?"

"Twenty-one. You?"

"Nineteen next week."

The waiter brought our drinks, and we asked for time to review the menus. We did that, and he was back in about five minutes. He took our orders and left, returning less than two minutes later with our salads.

"So, were you 'Whoa!' or 'Jesus!'?" I asked.

Stefi laughed, "Neither! I was speechless! 'Whoa!' was Britney. 'Jesus!' was Kelly. And 'Damn!' was Rick."

"Rick asked me to have a beer, but I politely declined. That said, he did go out with a group of my friends and me on Friday."

"It seems like every guy at the School of the Art Institute is gay or bi! I know that's not true, but it seems like it, especially given I didn't know a single gay or lesbian person back home."

"I bet you did; they just weren't out."

"You're right, I'm sure, but even the rumor a guy was gay would mean having the tar beat out of him. People in Canton are super conservative, and most everyone attends church."

"You?"

"First Baptist for my whole life."

"Do you still go to church?"

"I've gone to Moody Church pretty regularly since I moved here. Do you go to church?"

And here we very likely hit the brick wall, though I had a hard time in my mind reconciling sketching nude models and what I knew about Evangelical Christians, given everything I read about Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. Robertson was interesting, not because of his religion, but because his CBN Satellite Service had been the first satellite channel to connect to cable systems.

"No. I've never gone to church except for a half-dozen weddings and a funeral. Can I ask a question that might be a bit out of line?"

"You mean going to church and studying at the Art Institute?"

"I was thinking more specifically about the subject matter of the class."

"My pastor back home would have kittens if he knew, and I'm pretty sure Pastor Lutzer at Moody would as well."

"So, how do you reconcile those two things?"

"Until Monday, I didn't have to," Stefi said.

That telegraphed something I hadn't expected, or at least strongly implied it. I wasn't quite sure how to proceed and decided to shift the conversation a bit and figure out if Stefi was interesting enough to make that conversation productive.

"How did you decide to study graphic arts and come here?"

"My seventh-grade art teacher encouraged me to start drawing, and I really enjoyed it. When I was a Junior, I met with the guidance counselor, and she suggested graphic design. Of the four schools she recommended, this was the one I liked best. How did you decide to come to Chicago?"

"I asked my uncle — my mom's sister's husband — to help me find a job. He convinced a friend of his to hire me as a mailroom clerk. I moved here right after High School graduation and worked my way up to supervisor after a year, then to analyst. I earned two securities licenses and was appointed to head the newly created Research Department last Fall."

"What does it mean to manage a fund?" Stefi asked.

"I accept money from investors and use that to buy and sell stocks, bonds, and other financial instruments on their behalf. I collect an annual fee and keep a portion of the profits I earn for them, subject to a complex formula."

"Do you mind if I ask where you live?"

"I own a house in Rogers Park, but in May, I'll move into a condo I bought at 175 East Delaware Place."

"A house _and_ a condo? At twenty-one?"

"Yes."

We finished our salads, and the waiter brought our main courses.

"I probably should have asked before I gave you my number, but do you have a girlfriend?"

"You don't know that part of my story?" I asked, slightly surprised.

"No," Stefi replied. "What?"

"My wife died of leukemia in December."

"Oh my gosh!" she gasped. "That's terrible! I'm SO sorry!"

"Thanks. And please don't feel bad for asking. I thought Deanna might have said something."

"Not to me, at least. We're not friends, just classmates. How long were you married? I mean, if it's OK to ask."

"You can ask any question you want," I said. "If I don't want to answer, I'll say so. We married in a civil ceremony last August and a Shinto ceremony in October. She died on December 27th."

"Just so sad," Stefi observed. "She was your age?"

"A year younger."

"Unreal."

The conversation for the rest of the meal was subdued because Stefi clearly felt bad for raising the subject. After we ordered dessert, I decided to say something.

"You seem kind of down," I said. "There's no need to be."

"I feel awful for asking about that."

"You had no way of knowing, and asking about a girlfriend was a legitimate question."

"I suppose."

I felt I needed to change the subject, and when the waiter brought our dessert, I did that. Once the waiter put our desserts in front of us, I spoke.

"Earlier, I asked about reconciling your faith and sketching nudes. You said you didn't have to worry about it until Monday. I'm curious to hear your thinking if you're willing to share."

She took a deep breath and let it out.

"Promise not to laugh?"

"Yes," I replied.

"I'd never seen one before, well, on an adult. I changed diapers in the nursery at church and when I babysat. When I saw it, I was speechless, as I said. I was fascinated, and as I drew it, I thought it was gorgeous. It made me think things I'd never really thought before and confused me. After class, it was all I could think about, and that night, I had dreams I'd NEVER had before about things I'd never done. On Tuesday, I was so flustered I couldn't think straight. Then, on Wednesday, I knew what I had to do — give you my number, ask you to call me, and hope you'd do all those things with me."