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,,,,,,Edwudd City Locations:
Captain Ted's Boxing Gym- trade nude photos of sports players for strength upgrades.
The Burger Hut- Buy healing items.
Phyllis Pharmecy- Buy high grade healing items + status cures.
Home- Restore health and save the game.
Ol Spooky's Occult Trinkets- Buy consumables and exchange items for spells.
The Hole- A leather bar w/tips, sex scenes, gossip, and other things.
Shoestring Studios- Plot location, can trade gossip for $ as well.
Supine Industries- Plot location, 100 floor dungeon
Haunted Arms Hotel- Plot location, 50 floor dungeon
Seaside Lighthouse- Plot location, 30 floor dungeon
Capoccino- Coffee Mafia Headquarters, Plot Location1. Regular Strike <<set $POW to 4>><<set$HP to 5>><<set $HPMax to 10>> <<set $EnemyName to "Sneaky Snake">><<set $EneResCold to 2>><<set $EneResHeat to 2>><<set $EneResDark to 2>><<set $EnePOW to 4>><<set $EneProHypno to 3>><<set $EneProPoison to 3>><<set $EneProHorny to 3>><<set $EneHP to 20>><<set $BasePOW to 10>>
-Deals 1 to POW damage-
-CODE-
<<set $Damage to random(1, $POW)>>
You hit the <<print $EnemyName>> for <<print $Damage>> Damage!
2. Check
-Gives information on the enemy-
3. Perk Up [Level 1 Spell]
-Restores 0 to 6 + POW hit points-
-CODE-
<<set $Healing to random(0,6) + $POW>><<set $HP to $HP+$Healing>><<if $HP>$HPMax>> <<set $HP to $HPMax>> <</if>>
You restored <<print $Healing>> HP!
4. Chilly Wind [Level 1 Spell]
-Deals 3-6 + POW Cold damage-
-CODE-
<<set $Damage to random(3,6)+$POW-$EneResCold>>
You hit the <<print $EnemyName>> for <<print $Damage>> damage!
5. Hot Sparks [Level 1 Spell]
-Deals 1-10 + POW Heat damage-
-CODE-
<<set $Damage to random(1,10)+$POW-$EneResHeat>>
You hit the <<print $EnemyName>> for <<print $Damage>> damage!
6. Gentle Soul [Level 1 Spell]
-Lowers the foe's POW by 2-4
-CODE-
<<if random(1,10) > $EneProHypno>><<set $EnePOW to $EnePOW -random(2,4)>>The <<print $EnemyName>> was made less aggressive!<<else>>The spell had no effect!<</if>><<if $EnePOW lte 0>><<set $EnePOW to 0>> The foe's POW can't go any lower!<<else>><</if>>
7. Clear Head [Level 1 Spell]
-Raises resistance to hypnosis and horniness-
-CODE-
<<set $ProHypno to $ProHypno +5>><<set $ProHorny to $ProHorny +5>>
Your resistance to mental effects went up!
8. Purification [Level 2 Spell]
-Cures Poison, Hypnotized, and Lusty-
-CODE-
<<set $IsPoisoned to 0>><<set $IsHypnotized to 0>><<set $IsLusty to 0>>
You're feelin' just fine!
9. Shadow Shot [Level 2 Spell]
-Deals POW to POWx4 damage-
-CODE-
<<set $Damage to random($POW,$POW+$POW+$POW+$POW)-$EneResDark>>
You hit the <<print $EnemyName>> for <<print $Damage>> damage!
10. See Ya [Level 2 Spell]
-Immediately end the battle-
-CODE-
You were transported to safety! (run normal battle end code)
11. Incubus Kiss [Level 2 Spell]
-Inflict the foe with Lusty-
-CODE-
<<if random(1,10) > $EneProHorny>><<set $EneLusty to 1>><<set $EneHypno to 0>><<set $EnePoison to 0>>The <<print $EnemyName>> was corrupted by lust!<<else>>The spell had no effect!<</if>>
12. Temperature Control [Level 2 Spell]
-Raise your resistance to heat and cold-
-CODE-
<<set $ResHeat to $ResHeat+4>><<set $ResCold to $ResCold+4>>
Your body became resistant to extreme temperatures!
13. Brain Swirl [Level 3 Spell]
-Inflict the foe with Hypnotized-
-CODE-
<<if random(1,10) gt $EneProHypno>><<set $EneHypno to 1>>The <<print $EnemyName>> was enthralled by hypnosis!<<else>>The spell had no effect!<</if>>
14. Heartburn [Level 3 Spell]
-Deal heat damage equal to Half their health-
-CODE-
<<set $Damage to $EneHP/2 - $EneResHeat>><<set $EneHP to $EneHP/2 + $EneResHeat>>
You hit <<print $EnemyName>> for <<print $Damage>> damage!
15. Venom Mist [Level 3 Spell]
-Inflict the foe with Poisoned-
-CODE-
<<if random(1,10) gt $EneProPoison>><<set $EnePoison to 1>><<set $EneHypno to 0>><<set $EneLusty to 0>>The <<print $EnemyName>> was inflicted with poison!<<else>>The spell had no effect!<</if>>
16. Mighty Muscles [Level 3 Spell]
-Raise POW by Base POW, caps at 20-
-CODE-
<<set $POW to $BasePOW+$BasePOW>><<if $POW gt 20>><<set $POW to 20>><</if>>
Your POW was raised to <<print $POW>>!
17. Lifebooster [Level 3 Spell]
-Double health, up to max-
-CODE-
<<set $HP to $HP+$HP>><<if $HP gt $BaseHP>><<set $HP to $BaseHP>><</if>>
Your life was doubled!
18. Full Restore [Level 4 Spell]
-Restores all HP and cures all ailments.-
-CODE-
<<set $HP to $BaseHP>><<set $IsPoisoned to 0>><<set $IsLusty to 0>><<set $IsHypno to 0>>
You were fully rejuvinated!
19. Frozen Cyclone [Level 4 Spell]
-Reduces the foes health to single digits.-
-CODE-
<<set $Damage to $EneHP - random(1,9) - $EneResCold>><<set $EneHP to $EneHP - $Damage>>
The <<print $EnemyName>> was left weak by the frigid storm!
20. Demon's Gate [Level 4 Spell]
-Instantly dispatches foes with no darkness resistance, otherwise deals damage-
-CODE-
<<if $EneResDark gt 0>><<set $Damage to $POW + random(1,$POW+$POW+$POW+$POW+$POW) - $EneResDark>><<set $EneHP to $EneHP - $Damage>>You hit the <<print $EnemyName>> for <<print $Damage>> damage!<<else>><<set $EneHP to 0>>The <<print $EnemyName>> was pulled into the portal!<</if>>
21. Prismatic Wall [Level 4 Spell]
-Raises all resistances substantially-
-CODE-
<<set $ResHeat to $ResHeat + 10>><<set $ResCold to $ResCold + 10>><<set $ResDark to $ResDark + 10>><<set $ProHypno to $ProHypno + 6>><<set $ProHorny to $ProHorny + 6>><<set $ProPoison to $ProPoison + 6>>
A rainbow shield envelopes you, protecting you from all magic!
22. Total Corruption [Level 4 Spell]
-Attempts to incapacitate a foe through sheer horniness, if it fails it does damage instead-
-CODE-
<<if random(1,10) gt $EneProHorny>><<set $EneHP to 0>>The foe became too horny to continue fighting!<<else>><<set $EneHP to $EneHP -69>>You hit the <<print $EnemyName>> for 69 damage!------STAT VARIABLES------
POW - Your Power Stat
BasePow - Your Power Stat before modifiers
HP - Your Hit Points
HPMax - Max Possible Hit Points
M1 - Level 1 Spell Charges
M2 - Level 2 Spell Charges
M3 - Level 3 Spell Charges
M4 - Level 4 Spell Charges
M1Max - Max Possible Level 1 Spell Charges
M2Max - Max Possible Level 2 Spell Charges
M3Max - Max Possible Level 3 Spell Charges
M4Max - Max Possible Level 4 Spell Charges
ProPoison - Protection from poison
ProHypno - Protection from hypnosis
ProHorny - Protection from horny
ResHeat - Heat resistance
ResCold - Cold resistance
ResDark - Dark resistance
BaseProPoison - Base Protection from poison
BaseProHypno - Base Protection from hypnosis
BaseProHorny - Base Protection from horny
BaseResHeat - Base Heat resistance
BaseResCold - Base Cold resistance
BaseResDark - Base Dark resistance
EnePOW - Enemy Power Stat
EneHP - Enemy Hit Points
EneProPoison - Protection from poison
EneProHypno - Protection from hypnosis
EneProHorny - Protection from horny
EneResHeat - Heat resistance
EneResCold - Cold resistance
EneResDark - Dark resistance
[img[$Enemy]]
<<print $EnemyAttack>>
HP: <<print $HP>>/<<print $HPMax>>
STATUS: OK
[[ACTION->Battle Action]] [[ITEM->Battle Item]] [[RUN->Battle Run]]<<set $RandBattle to random(16,16)>><<if $RandBattle == 16>>
<<set $Enemy to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/hvd9il2qg4zsvec/presste.png?dl=1">>
A monster has appeared!
[[>>>->Battle Base]]<<else>>
The room is empty...
[[>>>->Room]]<</if>>Positive-
Tasty Sandwich- Restores 10 HP
Thick Burger- Restores 20 HP
Giant Sub- Restores 30 HP
Gentle Spirit- Raises status resist for 1 battle.
Nurturing Spirit- Greatly raises status resist for 1 battle.
Protective Spirit- Raises element defense for 1 battle.
Shielding Spirit- Greatly raises element defense for 1 battle.
Fighting Spirit- Raises POW for 1 battle.
Warrior Spirit- Greatly raises POW for 1 battle.
Money Ghost- Gives you 50 dollars.
Greed Ghost- Gives you 100 dollars.
Avarice Ghost- Gives you 500 dollars.
Bag of Life Chips- Restores all HP.
Energy Candy- Restores all spell charges.
Perfect Pudding- Restores all HP and all spell charges.
Growth Gummy- Increases GP by 10.
Growth Gelato- Increases GP by 50.
Trinket Box- Contains a trinket of semi-random worth.
Item Box- Contains an item of semi-random worth.
Money Box- Contains a semi-random amount of money.
Negative-
Tiny Devil- Deals 1-3 Damage.
Angry Devil- Deals 4-8 Damage.
Doom Devil- Deals 10-20 Damage.
Cheap Ghost- Takes 1 dollar.
Moocher Ghost- Takes 5 dollars.
Fire Trickster- Lowers Cold Resist for 1 battle.
Ice Trickster- Lowers Heat Resist for 1 battle.
Shadow Trickster- Lowers Dark Resist for 1 battle.
Heart Paper S - Healing, HP Restore Items, Tiny Devil
Heart Paper M -
Heart Paper L -
Money Paper S - Money, Buff Items, Money Ghost, Tiny Devil
Money Paper M -
Money Paper L -
Icy Paper S -
Icy Paper L -
Fiery Paper S -
Fiery Paper L -
Black Paper S -
Black Paper L -
Spooky Paper S -
Spooky Paper M -
Spooky Paper L -
Bubble Paper S -
Bubble Paper M -
Bubble Paper L -
Demon Paper S -
Demon Paper L -
Vine Paper S -
Vine Paper L -
Male Symbol Paper S -
Male Symbol Paper L -
Mystery Box -Battle Bonus!
Which of the boxes will you open?
<<set $PresGRN to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/7pvno9lq6t6shor/GreenPresent.png?dl=1">>
<<set $PresPNK to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/xnmogxyc7ryscgl/PinkPresent.png?dl=1">>
[img[$PresPNK][MapScreen]] [img[$PresGRN][Seaside Lighthouse Base]]<<set $Location to "Bar Bathroom">> <<set $Treasure to 37>> <<set $Orcs to 4>> <<set $SpellsUsed to 3>> <<set $CurrentScreen to "Setup">> <<set $Status to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/drcy5flakggo5n3/DrunkIconHeist.png?dl=1" >>
[[Walking Screen Test]]
[[RacePick]]
[[Results Screen]]
[[InventoryScreen]]
[[NotesScreen]]Where would you like to go?
Click on a location to go there.
<<set $MapPieceA to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/ruq9p4w9m5es2d7/MapPieceA.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceB to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/4j1b6epbm5vehy1/MapPieceB.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceC to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/bpvd6gmf15ttsk0/MapPieceC.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceD to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/wg4wiyaotcz59yn/MapPieceD.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceE to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/j8feienv4ymqs6r/MapPieceE.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceF to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/zghnno8np15v3pz/MapPieceF.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceG to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/yo5k7beu3p7hcru/MapPieceG.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceH to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/r9hxxkscrm181ux/MapPieceH.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceI to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/nsb1ew0jnoqxdjt/MapPieceI.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceJ to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/pfghva0oujl9ex3/MapPieceJ.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceK to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/hfj1k18d4trlrnv/MapPieceK.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceL to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/vs0jdyiq2zx7lm8/MapPieceL.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceM to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/v9fre10foekllfs/MapPieceM.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceN to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/gn9rixofdtan1il/MapPieceN.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceO to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/623xy6cj3etk8zo/MapPieceO.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceP to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/ho6rexcdt8yq1kg/MapPieceP.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceQ to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/eztragfp03uzlds/MapPieceQ.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceR to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/pau19jbs7wryxzk/MapPieceR.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceS to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/k2opjvo2wcithuq/MapPieceS.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceT to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/yj0mcpek7dxo2iu/MapPieceT.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceU to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/atie6eo5doflwhh/MapPieceU.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceV to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/mfbe1o37fj23elp/MapPieceV.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceW to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/1l26nhujwef07rr/MapPieceW.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceX to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/a10qxf3pxcw9c0j/MapPieceX.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceY to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/vavd12oi2hco1bw/MapPieceY.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPieceZ to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/j7sz94xr78gx7ak/MapPieceZ.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPiece1 to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/yfueprcb1xd1wzt/MapPiece1.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPiece2 to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/7xo455adwh869bo/MapPiece2.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPiece3 to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/hydhjvt8la9b230/MapPiece3.png?dl=1">><<set $MapPiece4 to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/s9xlmrda1ga0vqq/MapPiece4.png?dl=1">>
[img[$MapPieceA]]
[img[$MapPieceB]][img[$MapPieceC]][img[$MapPieceD]][img[$MapPieceE][ExploreCity]][img[$MapPieceF]][img[$MapPieceG]][img[$MapPieceH]]
[img[$MapPieceI]]
[img[$MapPieceJ]][img[$MapPieceK]][img[$MapPieceL]][img[$MapPieceM]][img[$MapPieceN]][img[$MapPieceO]][img[$MapPieceP]]
[img[$MapPieceQ]]
[img[$MapPieceR]][img[$MapPieceS]][img[$MapPieceT]][img[$MapPieceU]][img[$MapPieceV]][img[$MapPieceW]][img[$MapPieceX]]
[img[$MapPieceY]]
[img[$MapPieceZ]][img[$MapPiece1]][img[$MapPiece2]][img[$MapPiece3]][img[$MapPiece4]]Enemy- Sloshed Ghost
Ghost with Big Nose, Drunk
Text: Sloshed Ghost came extremely close to realizing he was dead...but got distracted and forgot what he was thinking about.!Consumables
<<if $SeenCBurger is 1>>[img[$FoodNull]][[Cheap Burger->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$FoodNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenDBurger is 1>>[img[$FoodNull]][[Double Burger->DBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$FoodNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenBFries is 1>>[img[$FoodNull]][[Bag of Fries->BFries Check]]<<else>>[img[$FoodNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>>
<<if $SeenMExpress is 1>>[img[$FoodNull]][[Mocha Expresso->MExpress Check]] <<else>>[img[$FoodNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenNull is 1>>[img[$FoodNull]][[Cheap Burger->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$FoodNull]]xxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenNull is 1>>[img[$FoodNull]][[Cheap Burger->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$FoodNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenCBlCoffee is 1>>[img[$FoodNull]][[Cold Block Coffee->CBloc Check]]<<else>>[img[$FoodNull]]xxxxxxxxx<</if>>
<<if $SeenHBlCoffee is 1>>[img[$FoodNull]][[Hot Block Coffee->HBloc Check]]<<else>>[img[$FoodNull]]xxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenNull is 1>>[img[$FoodNull]][[Cheap Burger->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$FoodNull]]xxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenNull is 1>>[img[$FoodNull]][[Cheap Burger->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$FoodNull]]xxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenNull is 1>>[img[$FoodNull]][[Cheap Burger->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$FoodNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>>
<<if $SeenNull is 1>>[img[$FoodNull]][[Cheap Burger->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$FoodNull]]xxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenAromint is 1>>[img[$FoodNull]][[Aromint Leaf->ALeaf Check]]<<else>>[img[$FoodNull]] xxxxxxxxx<</if>>
[[<<<Important Items-->Inventory Screen Key Items]] [[-Go Back-->Tome Test]] [[-Magic Trinkets>>>->Inventory Screen Trinkets]]1. Cheap Burger
D: A cheap burger that comes on a stale bun. It smells a little off but that might just be the ketchup. Restores 8-10 HP.
2. Double Burger
D: A cheap burger that comes with twice as much meat and twice as stale buns. This one has both ketchup AND mustard. Restores 18-22 HP.
3. Bag of Fries
D: A bag of lightly salted greasy fries. Taste good with something to dip em in. Restores 3-8 HP.
4. Mocha Expresso
D: A drink that's sure to give you a lot of pep. And also jitteriness, can't forget that. Doubles POW for the battle.
5. Fluffy Frappe
D: A drink that makes you feel right as rain. Resets all stats back to normal.
6. Hot Tempoccino
D: A drink so hot that it raises your body temp for a while. Increases Heat resistance by 10.
7. Cold Tempoccino
D: A drink so cold that it lowers your body temp for a while. Increases Cold resistance by 10.
8. Aromint Leaf
D: An extremely fragrant mint leaf that wards away demons. Deals 15-25 damage to demon class enemies.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.!Inventory Test <<set $TomeNull to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/f1zqly9ldo8taj0/TomeIconTemp.png?dl=1">><<set $FoodNull to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/qni1oui5ontlsc7/FoodIconTemp.png?dl=1">><<set $KeyNull to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/y54fcvde7mg3kej/KeyTemp.png?dl=1">>
[[>>>->Inventory Screen Food]]
[[MapScreen]]
[[AllTrinkets]]
[[AllFood]]
[[AllKeyItems]]Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.!Tome of Graves
The book given to you by Saturday. Despite clearly being an extremely old book the cover shows no sign of wear. Smells faintly of rum and spicy peppers. Having this lets you cast "Summon Spirit" on enemies, dealing Dark damage.
[[Go Back->Inventory Screen Trinkets]]!Grimoire of Zonk
A book with a very sleek cover that seems to shimmer and move, like an oil slick. Having this book lets you cast the spell "Brain Drain" which attempts to Zonkify an enemy and prevent them from using special moves.
[[Go Back->Inventory Screen Trinkets]]!Magic Trinkets
<<if $SeenTGraves is 1>>[img[$TomeNull]][[Tome of Graves->TGraves Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenFWhispers is 1>>[img[$TomeNull]][[Folio of Whispers->FWhispers Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenGZonk is 1>>[img[$TomeNull]][[Grimoire of Zonk->GZonk Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenBSmoke is 1>>[img[$TomeNull]][[Book of Smoke->BSmoke Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>>
<<if $SeenEVenom is 1>>[img[$TomeNull]][[Encyclopedia Venenum->EVenom Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenMInfernal is 1>>[img[$TomeNull]][[Infernal Manuscript->MInfernal Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenCBlizzard is 1>>[img[$TomeNull]][[Blizzard Codex->CBlizzard Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenAIncuba is 1>>[img[$TomeNull]][[Ars Incuba->AIncuba Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxx<</if>>
<<if $SeenCLife is 1>>[img[$TomeNull]][[Coin of Life->CLife Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenCMight is 1>>[img[$TomeNull]][[Coin of Might->CMight Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenCWits is 1>>[img[$TomeNull]][[Coin of Wits->CWits Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenCZip is 1>>[img[$TomeNull]][[Coin of Zip->CZip Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenCLust is 1>>[img[$TomeNull]][[Coin of Lust->CLust Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>>
<<if $SeenPDesert is 1>>[img[$PDesertIcon]][[Desert Pendant->PDesert Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenPTundra is 1>>[img[$PTundraIcon]][[Tundra Pendant->PTundra Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenPCrypt is 1>>[img[$PCryptIcon]][[Crypt Pendant->PCrypt Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>>
<<if $SeenRFountains is 1>>[img[$RFountainIcon]][[Ring of Fountains->RFountains Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenRTemples is 1>>[img[$RTempleIcon]][[Ring of Temples->RTemples Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenRSkies is 1>>[img[$RSkiesIcon]][[Ring of Skies->RSkies Check]]<<else>>[img[$TomeNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>>
[[<<<Consumables-->Inventory Screen Food]] [[-Go Back-->Tome Test]] [[-Important Items>>>->Inventory Screen Key Items]]!Important Items
<<if $SeenSJockstrap is 1>>[img[$KeyNull]][[Suspicious Jockstrap->SJock Check]]<<else>> [img[$KeyNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenKeyNull is 1>>[img[$KeyNull]][[Key Item->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$KeyNull]]xxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenKeyNull is 1>>[img[$KeyNull]][[Key Item->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$KeyNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>>
<<if $SeenKeyNull is 1>>[img[$KeyNull]][[Key Item->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$KeyNull]]xxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenKeyNull is 1>>[img[$KeyNull]] [[Key Item->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$KeyNull]]xxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenKeyNull is 1>>[img[$KeyNull]][[Key Item->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$KeyNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenKeyNull is 1>>[img[$KeyNull]][[Key Item->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$KeyNull]]xxxxxxxxxx<</if>>
<<if $SeenKeyNull is 1>>[img[$KeyNull]][[Key Item->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$KeyNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenKeyNull is 1>>[img[$KeyNull]][[Key Item->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$KeyNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenLewdPicA is 1>>[img[$KeyNull]][[Naked Athlete Photo->NAPhoto Check]]<<else>>[img[$KeyNull]]xxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenKeyNull is 1>>[img[$KeyNull]][[Key Item->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$KeyNull]]xxxxxxxxx<</if>>
<<if $SeenKeyNull is 1>>[img[$KeyNull]][[Key Item->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$KeyNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenKeyNull is 1>>[img[$KeyNull]][[Key Item->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$KeyNull]]xxxxxxxxx<</if>> <<if $SeenKeyNull is 1>>[img[$KeyNull]][[Key Item->CBurg Check]]<<else>>[img[$KeyNull]]xxxxxxxxxxxx<</if>>
[[<<<Magic Trinkets-->Inventory Screen Trinkets]] [[-Go Back-->Tome Test]] [[-Consumables>>>->Inventory Screen Food]]Double-click this passage to edit it.!Book of Smoke
This tome's cover and worn pages smell extremely strongly of cigar smoke and cherries. Having this allows you to cast the spell "Cloud of Bliss" letting you exhale smoke that makes the enemy feel funny and have their POW lowered.
[[Go Back->Inventory Screen Trinkets]]Use Fleep Blannigan Beer
Give "Rumors" and "Lewd Photos" their own mini screenDouble-click this passage to edit it. You wipe the sweat from your brow. This negotiation is going way worse than you thought it would. The air in the restaurant is so thick you can almost feel it choking you. If your hands gripped the table any harder the damn thing might snap.
One wrong word could spell disaster.
"So..." the don begins. "Why should I let you try my patience?"
Your mouth goes dry.
"Well your donness, uh... donerino. I'm tailing some weird activity and I was-"
"You were hoping I'd stick my nose in this business?"
"A little bit. Yeah. A few guys have gone missing and it's getting out of hand."
The older man sighs and stares at the ceiling for a bit, twirling his mustache almost absentmindedly.
"And this is my problem because...?"
This sets you off big time. You slam your fists on the table hoping to get your point across.
"Because it could be you next!" you bark, standing up quick enough that the knives and forks on the table rattle a bit.
The don pinches the bridge of his nose.
"Joey?" he says seemingly to no one in particular. Within a few moments a tall musclebound mook with small black pompadour and the thickest darkest eyebrows you've ever seen strides into the room. His multiple chain necklaces clanging with each step.
"Yeah boss?" he asks with a purse of his lips and a crack of his hairy knuckles. He definitely knows what's coming.
"Please remove this moron from my sight. Go out back and...take care of him."
You slamming your fists on the table did not get your point across. In fact it made things a lot worse.
Joey grabs you by your collar and yanks you down a hallway with so much force you don't even have enough time to get a word in edgewise. The chair you were sitting in until you made this extremely poor decision falls over to the side, as if it got "taken care of" too. As you make your way down the hallway people stick their heads out of rooms to get a look at what's going on. A few of them smirk. One mutters "That poor fuck..." under his breath. This probably happens a lot in a mafia controlled restaurant.
Eventually you reach the door to the alley. He pushes you out and follows, stopping to lock the door behind him.
"You don't gotta do this!" you plead to the musclehead.
"Yeah I do actually. Whenever the boss needs someone taken care of, I gotta do it, because I'm the take-carer. Cappychay?"
Wait, what?
"Cappychay?" you blurt out, bewildered.
"You know, like, do you understand?"
Holy shit this guy meant capiche.
"Y-yeah I understand. Capiche."
"We got no time to get you any food, sorry. I gotta take care of you all quick like. Besides I don't think they serve that here."
They definitely didn't hire Joey for his brains.
He clears his throat. "Okay drop your pants."
"W-why?" you stammer, equal parts confused and scared.
"I don't never take care of guys with their pants on. Now drop em."
Too scared to move.
The thug clicks his tongue and grabs you by the hips. In one swift motion he drops your pants AND underwear down to your ankles. Whatever the hell this is, he's got this down to a motherfuckin art form.
Joey gets down on his knees and starts fondling your balls gently in one hand, like a jeweler inspecting some fancy diamonds.
"Nice," he chuckles. After a second he opens his mouth and starts sucking hard on your balls. This is nothing like any "taking care of" you've seen in the movies.
Hell, this would make em a lot more interesting.
You can feel him rub his tongue over your pair while he's still sucking on them intently. It takes pretty much all your strength to stay standing with this kinda treatment, and even then your legs get a little shaky.
He doesn't like this one bit. With one meaty palm he presses you against the building's brick wall and pulls your balls out of his mouth with an audible pop.
"Don't move while I'm takin care of you. Real rude you know," he chides like you'd made some kind of social etiquette mistake. It's not your fault, you never read "Ten Things to Never do While a Mobster Sucks Your Nuts".
He decides to move to your dick now, and after gently putting it between his lips he starts sucking your cock so intensely you'd think this is what he was meant to do in life.
You curl your toes and try to grip something with your hands but all thats around you is brick. Your breathing picks up and he lets out a small chuckle. The thug runs his tongue over your cockhead in a way that makes your balls churn and makes you wish you accidentally insulted a mob boss sooner.
After a couple minutes of being "taken care of" like this he pulls himself off your dick and takes a few deep breaths.
"I feel your dick twitching so you're pretty close to being done. Brace yourself cuz you're gonna be remembering this one all week," he says looking you straight in the eyes. The sincerity in his voice makes it sound like he's warning you about some kind of rollercoaster ride, not a blowjob.
Before you can figure out what he means, Joey licks his index finger and then takes both your cock and balls into his mouth and resumes his intense sucking. With the hand not holding you against the wall he starts drawing tiny circles around your asshole using its index finger. After a few seconds of massaging like this he plunges the thick digit in and before long he's slow finger fucking you, rubbing your prostate with every stroke.
The clever bastard. The clever but incredibly dumb bastard! You can't handle this for long and after about a minute of this assult you let out a low grunt and start shooting down the mafioso's throat. He doesn't stop sucking for a second. Holy shit this guy is dedicated to his job...whatever that is.
When Joey's satisfied you're finished he pulls his mouth off of your junk and his finger out of your ass. The hand holding you against the wall stays there, because of course it does. He unlocks the back door and with the same force that brought you out here grabs you by the shirt and pulls you into the building, your pants still around your ankles.
"I took care of him, boss!" he hollars down the hallway dragging you along like some kind of man-sized ragdoll.
"He's good ain't he?" One of those same smirking guys from earlier whispers to you.
How often does this happen.
The don look up from his calzone dinner and his self-satisfied smile gradually droops into a frown.
"Joey?" he says with equal parts gentleness and barely restrained frustration.
"Yeah boss?"
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT BY TAKE CARE OF HIM!" he roars while slamming a fist into the table. So when he does it it's okay.
"Sorry boss," the goon responds sheepishly.
"Every fuckin' time I want a guy murdalized..." The tired mafia don says under his breath before completely downing his glass of wine.
"He did real good though, I think we should hire him," Joey adds.
"I can't be hiring guys you suck off, Joey. What would the other families think?"
A goon with a crew cut speaks up. "After that turf war with Luigi T. Nilgiri, we need all the help we can get."
Don Frappeccino lets out the biggest sigh of the night. "That is true, Lungo. That is true. The bastard took some of our finest men. Told em tea was healthier. Bah..."
He stares you dead in the eyes. "Welcome to the family, ya lucky fuck."
You let out a little cough. "D-do I have any say in this?"
"Not even a little."
1. Ghost Mafioso, similar to Pinstripe PotorooDouble-click this passage to edit it.Select an Action
[[Starboard Deck]]
[[Starboard Deck]]
[[Starboard Deck]]
Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.b!Folio of Whispers
True to its name, this book seems to make quiet noises when left alone for a while. Having this allows you to cast the spell "Vampiric Whispers" which drains a foe's life and gives it to you.
[[Go Back->Inventory Screen Trinkets]]!Encyclopedia Venenum
A book seemingly bound in snakeskin and studded with malachite. Many diagrams of toxins are inside. Having this allows you to cast "Poison Plume" which attempts to poison an enemy and gradually sap their HP.
[[Go Back->Inventory Screen Trinkets]]!Infernal Manuscript
A book whos cover is studded with garnets set in pumice. It smells faintly of ash and feels warm to the touch. Having this book allows you to cast the spell "Hellfire" which deals Heat damage to an enemy.
[[Go Back->Inventory Screen Trinkets]]Double-click this passage to edit it.!Ars Incuba
An ancient book covered in pictograms of demons. Its pages are written in a script you've never seen, but can read nonetheless. This lets you cast "Mental Corruption", which instantly defeats an enemy by overwhelming its mind with sleazy lusty urges.
[[Go Back->Inventory Screen Trinkets]]!Desert Pendant
[img[$PDesertIcon]]
A stone pendant on a chain that seems to contain the heat of the desert winds. Having this lowers the damage enemy Heat attacks do to you by 4. If a Heat attack would do 4 or less, it doesn't hurt you at all.
[[Go Back->Inventory Screen Trinkets]]!Tundra Pendant
[img[$PTundraIcon]]
A stone pendant on a chain that seems to contain the the chill of the icy tundra. Having this lowers the damage enemy Cold attacks do to you by 4. If a Cold attack would do 4 or less, it doesn't hurt you at all.
[[Go Back->Inventory Screen Trinkets]]!Crypt Pendant
[img[$PCryptIcon]]
A stone pendant on a chain that seems to contain the dread spirits of an old crypt. Having this lowers the damage enemy Dark attacks do to you by 4. If a Dark attack would do 4 or less, it doesn't hurt you at all.
[[Go Back->Inventory Screen Trinkets]]!Ring of Fountains
[img[$RFountainIcon]]
A ring with a gem that sparkles and shimmers like a pure spring of water. Having this significantly lowers the chance you'll be poisoned or be made sick by an enemy's attack.
[[Go Back->Inventory Screen Trinkets]]!Ring of Temples
[img[$RTempleIcon]]
A ring with a gem that gives off a glossy sheen showing many patterns on its surface. Having this significantly lowers the chance that an enemy's attack will Zonkify you or affect your mind.
[[Go Back->Inventory Screen Trinkets]]!Ring of Skies
[img[$RSkiesIcon]]
A ring with a gem that looks like a piece of the open and free sky itself. Having this significantly lowers the chance that an enemy's attack will prevent you from taking your turn.
[[Go Back->Inventory Screen Trinkets]]Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.<<set $SeenTGraves to 1>><<set $SeenGZonk to 1>><<set $SeenBSmoke to 1>><<set $SeenFWhispers to 1>><<set $SeenEVenom to 1>><<set $SeenMInfernal to 1>><<set $SeenCBlizzard to 1>><<set $SeenAIncuba to 1>><<set $SeenPDesert to 1>><<set $SeenPTundra to 1>><<set $SeenPCrypt to 1>><<set $SeenRFountains to 1>><<set $SeenRTemples to 1>><<set $SeenRSkies to 1>><<set $SeenCLife to 1>><<set $SeenCMight to 1>><<set $SeenCWits to 1>><<set $SeenCZip to 1>><<set $SeenCLust to 1>>You got em.
<<set $RFountainIcon to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/8pzxquv200l95hf/FountainRing.png?dl=1">><<set $RTempleIcon to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/6lyysq4y3gyg9bj/TempleRing.png?dl=1">><<set $RSkiesIcon to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/od6rstf09hslxb9/SkiesRing.png?dl=1">><<set $PDesertIcon to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/tznqq7svdimqmkm/DesertPendant.png?dl=1">><<set $PTundraIcon to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/h60ng5v0x842pyg/WinterPendant.png?dl=1">><<set $PCryptIcon to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/eeu2wdq5xlkthrq/TombPendant.png?dl=1">>
[[Tome Test]] Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.1. Cousin In Town - Take Asiago out to lunch - Opens 6
2.
3.
4.
5.
6. Day of the Wedding - Aunt Catalina's Wedding (spends m/ it dressing)
7.
8.
9.
10. The Haunted Hideout - 1st Dungeon, Opens 11-15
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20. The Mysterious Bunker - 2nd Dungeon, Opens 21-25
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.
28.
29.
30. Bafom Industries Building - Final Dungeon, ends game<center> -Dom's Apartment-
What will you do?
[[Look at Mail->Apartment Mail]]
[[Make a Phone Call->Apartment Phone]]
[[Get Some Sleep->Apartment Sleep]]
[[Check Status->Status Screen]]
[[Leave->MapScreen]]</center>Double-click this passage to edit it.<center>Who will you call?
[[Fortune Hotline]]
[[Joey Decaf->Joey Phone]]
[[Uncle Clive->Clive Phone]]
[[Paranormal Patrol->PPatrol Phone]]
[[Recording Studio->Save Screen]]
[[Nobody->Home]]
</center><<set $HP to $BaseHP>><<set $Energy to $BaseEnergy>>
<center>Dom rests for a while...
HP is restored!
Energy is max!
[[>>>->Home]]
</center>Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.You are in the <<print $Location>>.
What will you do?
CURRENT STATUS:[img[$Status]]
!You did it!
<<timed 2s t8n>> Treasure nabbed:<</timed>><<timed 3s t8n>> $Treasure G!<</timed>>
<<timed 5s t8n>> Orcs Banged:<</timed>><<timed 6s t8n>> $Orcs Orcs!<</timed>>
<<timed 8s t8n>> Spells Used:<</timed>><<timed 9s t8n>> $SpellsUsed Spells!<</timed>>
<<timed 11s t8n>> Time Taken:<</timed>><<timed 12s t8n>> <<print turns()>> Turns!<</timed>>
<<timed 14s t8n>> Ranking:<</timed>><<timed 18s t8n>> Speed Demon!!!<</timed>>!Choose a Race
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "City" loop volume 0.50 play>>
[[Wolf|WolfInfo]] [[Human|HumanInfo]] [[Dwarf|DwarfInfo]]
[[Minotaur|MinotaurInfo]] [[Hawk|HawkInfo]] [[Devil|DevilInfo]]
[[Unicorn|UnicornInfo]] [[Lizard|LizardInfo]] [[Tanuki|TanukiInfo]] Wolves make great bards because of their free spirit and loyalty to their comrades.
By picking a wolf your hearing will be much stronger than others, thanks to your large ears. Because of this when examining an area you pick up sounds others won't notice.
Do you want to be a wolf?
[[Yes|Outskirts][$Race to "Wolf"]] [[No|RacePick]] Humans make great bards because of their resourcefulness and adaptability.
By picking a human your sense of your surroundings will be much stronger, as well as your knowledge of common tricks and traps. You are much more likely to notice a trapped door or object as a human.
Do you want to be a human?
[[Yes|Outskirts][$Race to "Human"]] [[No|RacePick]] Dwarves make great bards because of their dedication and love of fine drink.
By picking a dwarf you inherit a trait common to all dwarves due to their ancestry in the toxic bogs. Even dwarves in the crowded cities find it easy for their bodies to process ingested poisons. Because of this, as a dwarf you cannot get the "Drunk" status.
Do you want to be a dwarf?
[[Yes|Outskirts][$Race to "Dwarf"]] [[No|RacePick]] Minotaurs make great bards because of their boisterous personalities and love of theatrics.
By picking a minotaur, your body and will are much stronger than others. Because of your body and mind of steel and your warm heart, you are incapable of getting the "Cursed" status.
Do you want to be a minotaur?
[[Yes|Outskirts][$Race to "Minotaur"]] [[No|RacePick]] Hawks make great bards because of their natural gift for song and graceful movement.
By picking a hawk, your eyesight will be much stronger than others, as well as your ability to tell even the smallest difference between colors. Because of this whenever you examine an area you'll pick up sights others will miss, leading to additional clues and options.
Do you want to be a hawk?
[[Yes|Outskirts][$Race to "Hawk"]] [[No|RacePick]] Devils make great bards because of their great memory and their ease at stirring emotions.
By picking a devil you will be in complete control of yourself and always have a clear head. Because of this you will never get the "Horny" status. (You can still get sex scenes though, don't worry!)
Do you want to be a devil?
[[Yes|Outskirts][$Race to "Devil"]] [[No|RacePick]] Unicorns make great bards because of their majestic nature and their powerful frame.
By picking a unicorn you will be much more sensitive to magic, to the point of being able to pick up traces of it left behind. When examining an area, you'll be able to tell if there's magic at work.
Do you want to be a unicorn?
[[Yes|Outskirts][$Race to "Unicorn"]] [[No|RacePick]] Tanuki make great bards because of love of tricks and jovial nature.
By picking a tanuki, you'll be much better at haggling and money in general, thanks to finances being something all tanuki learn. All items bought will cost less.
Do you want to be a tanuki?
[[Yes|Outskirts][$Race to "Tanuki"]] [[No|RacePick]] You're a bard, a traveller versed in stories, trickery, and magic. It's no secret that most bards enjoy the finer things in life. Food, drink, entertainment, leisure... All things bards enjoy!
<<set $Status to "Normal">><<set $Treasure to 10>>
But you're running low on funds. The 10 G in your pocket is all the money you have left. Seeing you freak out, a friend lets you in on a scheme to make both of you rich...
[[Next=>|Begin2]]Lizards make great bards because of their cunning and devotion to the arts.
By picking a lizard, your sense of smell becomes much sharper than others, thanks to your ability to taste the air. When you explore a room you'll notice scents that other races would never pick up, leading to additional clues and paths.
Do you want to be a lizard?
[[Yes|Outskirts][$Race to "Lizard"]] [[No|RacePick]] !Inventory
<<if $SeenStrengthHerb is 1>>[[Strength Herb|Strength Herb Examine]]<<else>>?????<</if>>
<<if $SeenHeadyPerfume is 1>>[[Heady Perfume|Heady Perfume Examine]]<<else>>?????<</if>>
<<if $SeenPepperPowder is 1>>[[Pepper Powder|Pepper Powder Examine]]<<else>>?????<</if>>
<<if $SeenClothScrap is 1>>[[Scrap of Cloth|Cloth Scrap Examine]]<<else>>?????<</if>>
<<if $SeenMagicRope is 1>>[[Magic Rope|Magic Rope Examine]]<<else>>?????<</if>>
<<if $SeenPepperPowder is 1>>[[Pepper Powder|Pepper Powder Examine]]<<else>>?????<</if>>
<<if $SeenPepperPowder is 1>>[[Pepper Powder|Pepper Powder Examine]]<<else>>?????<</if>>
<<if $SeenPepperPowder is 1>>[[Pepper Powder|Pepper Powder Examine]]<<else>>?????<</if>>
<<link "Go Back" $CurrentScreen>><</link>>!Notes
<<if $FlyerNote is 1>>[[Tunnels Flyer|Tunnel Flyer Notes]]<<else>>?????<</if>>
?????
?????
?????
?????
?????
?????
?????
<<link "Go Back" $CurrentScreen>><</link>>!Strength Herb
A strong smelling mystical herb. If you have one, it cures status effects once and is then used up.
[[Go Back|InventoryScreen]]!Heady Perfume
A thick perfume that can cover up any kind of scent with an overwhelming flowery smell. Apparently it smells like fresh cut spring flowers strewn across a babbling brook, with a hint of lemon.
[[Go Back|InventoryScreen]]!Pepper Powder
The powdered form of a rare extremely spicy pepper. Gives any dish an undeniably powerful kick!
[[Go Back|InventoryScreen]]!The Great Orc Heist
<<cacheaudio "Temple" "https://www.dropbox.com/s/rpstzzwoiznw7xc/The%20Ancient%20Ones.mp3?dl=1">><<cacheaudio "TitleResults" "https://www.dropbox.com/s/eezsdbgbropeby2/Bubble%20Butt.mp3?dl=1">><<cacheaudio "City" "https://www.dropbox.com/s/mujrjfycwzfzrtd/Orc%20Strut.mp3?dl=1">><<cacheaudio "Tunnels" "https://www.dropbox.com/s/bwxgo7lskhz61cc/Back%20on%20Top.mp3?dl=1">><<cacheaudio "SexScene" "https://www.dropbox.com/s/3cnxy8yscona2yr/Get%20Your%20Fuck%20On.mp3?dl=1">><<cacheaudio "Castle" "https://www.dropbox.com/s/9gmzxzvre0aobnm/Slow%20Push.mp3?dl=1">><<set $ItemsIcon to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/8d562afp6n756kq/InventoryIcon.png?dl=1">><<set $NotesIcon to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/vmnylncym7tlfr4/Notes%20Button.png?dl=1">> <<set $ChatIcon to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/3zggtdmyztue8mt/Talk%20Button.png?dl=1">> <<set $ExamineIcon to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/hacf11feafqnl9q/ExamineButton.png?dl=1">><<set $ChatScreen to "GameStart">><<set $ExamineScreen to "GameStart">> <<set $Up to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/xc3jyk6uikml56q/Up%20Button.png?dl=1">><<set $Down to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/pjyl5wddlgp5hcs/Down%20Button.png?dl=1">><<set $Left to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/0g0zu03agezbloh/Left%20Button.png?dl=1">><<set $Right to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/b6cx6qbokhcd7pw/Right%20Button.png?dl=1">> <<set $Drunk to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/drcy5flakggo5n3/DrunkIconHeist.png?dl=1">> <<set $Normal to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/cot06crsklu2czi/OKIconHeist.png?dl=1">> <<set $Cursed to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/beq814zjkge63v3/CursedIconHeist.png?dl=1">> <<set $Horny to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/xx86bl52suopjks/HornyIconHeist.png?dl=1">> <<set $NoUp to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/sirbbunvp8fra5c/Up%20Button%20Off.png?dl=1">> <<set $NoDown to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/gvhy86i6mvat47x/Down%20Button%20Off.png?dl=1">> <<set $NoRight to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/nbzdbwvyx26mn13/Right%20Button%20Off.png?dl=1">> <<set $NoLeft to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/4pus0961nvn89k8/Left%20Button%20Off.png?dl=1">> <<set $Spacer to "https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1">>
[[Start|Begin]]
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "TitleResults" loop volume 0.40 play>>
[[Options]]
Version 0.1!Options
[[Sound Test]]
[[Credits]]
[[Image Preloader]]
[[Dev Notes]]
[[Go Back|Title Screen]][img[$Up]] [img[$Down]] [img[$Left]] [img[$Right]]
[img[$NoUp]] [img[$NoDown]] [img[$NoLeft]] [img[$NoRight]]
[img[$Normal]] [img[$Drunk]] [img[$Cursed]] [img[$Horny]]
[img[$ItemsIcon]] [img[$NotesIcon]] [img[$ChatIcon]] [img[$ExamineIcon]]
[[Go Back|Options]]In Tuskany, the capital of Orcheim, the king is throwing a huge party some time from now. During that time his knights will be too busy attending to the guests to guard the vault, full of countless orcish treasures.
A few things from there would have you set for life!
Your friend says he'll play the distraction, giving you more time, but you need to sneak to the vault alone and grab the goods.
[[Next=>|Begin3]]You agree immediately, because there's not much you can buy with 10 G. Before long, you two arrive in Tuskany and he immediately sets off doing... something. It occurs to you that he never gave you the details of his plan.
Oh shit.
You sigh and hitch up your belt, this is gonna be a looooong heist.
Before we begin...
[[Next=>|RacePick]]!City Outskirts
<<set $CurrentScreen to "Outskirts">><<set $ChatScreen to "No Chat">><<set $ExamineScreen to "Outskirts Examine">>
[img[$Up][City Gates]]
[img[$NoLeft]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "40" height = "40">[img[$NoRight]]
[img[$NoDown]]
Current Status:<<if $Status is "Normal">>[img[$Normal]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Drunk">>[img[$Drunk]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Horny">>[img[$Horny]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Cursed">>[img[$Cursed]]<</if>> Treasure: <<print $Treasure>> G
[img[$ItemsIcon][InventoryScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$NotesIcon][NotesScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$ChatIcon][$ChatScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$ExamineIcon][$ExamineScreen]]It looks like no one is around to chat with you...
[[Go Back|$CurrentScreen]]!Sound Test
Choose a Song!
[[Bubble Butt: Title Screen and Results|TitleResults Song]]
[[Orc Strut: The City|City Song]]
[[Back On Top: The Tunnels|Tunnels Song]]
[[Get Your Fuck On: Sex Scene|SexScene Song]]
[[Slow Push: The Castle|Castle Song]]
[[The Ancient Ones: The Temple|Temple Song]]
[[Go Back|Options]]!!!Graphics, Coding, and Writing: MonstrousRick
!!!Music: The Dirty Spiders
!!!Big Awesome Patron Supporters:
Jake, Nicolas DeBenning, Dollhead,
Marcus, BryantTran, KorenSolust, Abdullah Alsayed, Subrosa, Addy Bravo, Jesse, kratos.1.1, Matt Taylor, Celes Cheire, Wizzard, TigerEastern, Devante, Kevin Kloek, metaball, Kelsey Kote, Eric Gay, RubenX, ZombieHK, asellus, Jon, WhoNeedsToSleep, Techimp, Sameer
[[Go Back|Options]]The ground is littered with sparse vegetation and some small rocks. The city of Tuskany is visible in the distance, its castle looming over everything around it, like a tree surrounded by saplings. <<if $Race is "Hawk">> You can see a few fireworks going off in the distance. The party must be starting soon.<</if>><<if $Race is "Lizard">> The air is extremely thick with the smell of sulfur...and the smell of orcs.<</if>><<if $Race is "Wolf">> You can hear crowds cheering in the distance as fireworks go off...<</if>> <<if $Race is "Unicorn">> There's a faint buzzing in the air, like some protective wards have been recently dispeled.<</if>>
<<if $FlyerNote is 1>><<else>>On the ground nearby is a crumpled piece of paper. Looks like a flyer for tourists.
[[Read the Paper|Tourist Flyer]]<</if>>
[[Go Back|Outskirts]]!City Gates
<<set $CurrentScreen to "City Gates">><<set $ChatScreen to "City Gates Chat">><<set $ExamineScreen to "City Gates Examine">>
[img[$Up][City Square]]
[img[$NoLeft]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "40" height = "40">[img[$Right][Guard House]]
[img[$Down][Outskirts]]
Current Status:<<if $Status is "Normal">>[img[$Normal]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Drunk">>[img[$Drunk]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Horny">>[img[$Horny]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Cursed">>[img[$Cursed]]<</if>> Treasure: <<print $Treasure>> G
[img[$ItemsIcon][InventoryScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$NotesIcon][NotesScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$ChatIcon][$ChatScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$ExamineIcon][$ExamineScreen]]!Guard House
<<set $CurrentScreen to "Guard House">><<set $ChatScreen to "No Chat">><<set $ExamineScreen to "Guard House Examine">>
[img[$NoUp]]
[img[$Left][City Gates]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "40" height = "40">[img[$NoRight]]
[img[$NoDown]]
Current Status:<<if $Status is "Normal">>[img[$Normal]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Drunk">>[img[$Drunk]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Horny">>[img[$Horny]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Cursed">>[img[$Cursed]]<</if>> Treasure: <<print $Treasure>> G
[img[$ItemsIcon][InventoryScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$NotesIcon][NotesScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$ChatIcon][$ChatScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$ExamineIcon][$ExamineScreen]]The gates of Tuskany are simultanously large and rather underwhelming. All that's around is a tiny guard house and a simple open gate. Must be a formality more than anything.
There's some graffiti on one of the walls.
!!!WHERE DO YOU THINK ORCS COME FROM?
...you have no idea what that means.
[[Go Back|City Gates]]The guard house looks like it can barely fit one person inside. It has a small chair and a few pieces of paper pinned to a cork board. <<if $Race is "Unicorn">>Some magic is hanging in the air here.<</if>>
[[Look At Corkboard|Guard House Corkboard]]
[[Go Back|Guard House]]!City Square
<<set $CurrentScreen to "City Square">><<set $ChatScreen to "No Chat">><<set $ExamineScreen to "City Square Examine">>
[img[$Up][City Park]]
[img[$Left][Bar Entrance]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "40" height = "40">[img[$Right][Shopping Area]]
[img[$Down][City Gates]]
Current Status:<<if $Status is "Normal">>[img[$Normal]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Drunk">>[img[$Drunk]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Horny">>[img[$Horny]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Cursed">>[img[$Cursed]]<</if>> Treasure: <<print $Treasure>> G
[img[$ItemsIcon][InventoryScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$NotesIcon][NotesScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$ChatIcon][$ChatScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$ExamineIcon][$ExamineScreen]]!City Park
<<set $CurrentScreen to "City Park">><<set $ChatScreen to "No Chat">><<set $ExamineScreen to "City Park Examine">>
[img[$Up][Castle Road]]
[img[$NoLeft]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "40" height = "40">[img[$NoRight]]
[img[$Down][City Square]]
Current Status:<<if $Status is "Normal">>[img[$Normal]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Drunk">>[img[$Drunk]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Horny">>[img[$Horny]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Cursed">>[img[$Cursed]]<</if>> Treasure: <<print $Treasure>> G
[img[$ItemsIcon][InventoryScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$NotesIcon][NotesScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$ChatIcon][$ChatScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$ExamineIcon][$ExamineScreen]]1. Bartender gets blowjob from behind the counter.
2. !Shopping Area
<<set $CurrentScreen to "Shopping Area">><<set $ChatScreen to "Shopping Area Chat">><<set $ExamineScreen to "Shopping Area Examine">>
[img[$NoUp]]
[img[$Left][City Square]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "40" height = "40">[img[$NoRight]]
[img[$NoDown]]
Current Status:<<if $Status is "Normal">>[img[$Normal]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Drunk">>[img[$Drunk]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Horny">>[img[$Horny]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Cursed">>[img[$Cursed]]<</if>> Treasure: <<print $Treasure>> G
[img[$ItemsIcon][InventoryScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$NotesIcon][NotesScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$ChatIcon][$ChatScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$ExamineIcon][$ExamineScreen]]Here's the entrance to a building called "Smitty's Bar".
Do you wanna enter?
[[Yes|Smitty's Bar]]
[[No|City Square]] !Castle Road
<<set $CurrentScreen to "Castle Road">><<set $ChatScreen to "No Chat">><<set $ExamineScreen to "Castle Road Examine">>
[img[$Up][Castle Gates]]
[img[$NoLeft]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "40" height = "40">[img[$NoRight]]
[img[$Down][City Park]]
Current Status:<<if $Status is "Normal">>[img[$Normal]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Drunk">>[img[$Drunk]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Horny">>[img[$Horny]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Cursed">>[img[$Cursed]]<</if>> Treasure: <<print $Treasure>> G
[img[$ItemsIcon][InventoryScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$NotesIcon][NotesScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$ChatIcon][$ChatScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$ExamineIcon][$ExamineScreen]]!Castle Gates
<<set $CurrentScreen to "Castle Gates">><<set $ChatScreen to "Castle Gates Chat">><<set $ExamineScreen to "Castle Gates Examine">>
[img[$NoUp]]
[img[$NoLeft]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "40" height = "40">[img[$NoRight]]
[img[$Down][Castle Road]]
Current Status:<<if $Status is "Normal">>[img[$Normal]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Drunk">>[img[$Drunk]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Horny">>[img[$Horny]]<</if>><<if $Status is "Cursed">>[img[$Cursed]]<</if>> Treasure: <<print $Treasure>> G
[img[$ItemsIcon][InventoryScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$NotesIcon][NotesScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$ChatIcon][$ChatScreen]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "25" height = "1">[img[$ExamineIcon][$ExamineScreen]]The bar is crowded with orcs! To your surprise, none of the orcs seem to care much about a non-orc entering their presence.
There's a guy at the bar looking pretty shifty, and a bartender polishing a glass. In addition there's a bathroom in the back.
Looking behind you, there's a bunch of orc boys moved towards the entrance so you're stuck here for now.
What will you do?
[[Talk to Shifty Guy|Rumors Guy]] [[Talk to Bartender|Smitty Talk]] [[Go to the Bathroom|Bar Bathroom]]When you enter the bar bathroom, you immediately notice a gloryhole carved into one of the stalls, with a mouth waiting on one end.
"Go on, we both know you want this. Stick it in and it'll feel real good..."
What do you do?
[[Stick it in and Feel Real Good|BarBlowjob]]
[[Nevermind...|BarBlowjob Cancel]]You're in a dark tunnel. You can hear water running in the distance.
With no other way to go, you travel along the passage until you come to another shaft, this one with a sliver of light coming out of the top. It must be a way out!
[[Climb Up|Orc Speech Temp]]You're in a dimly lit tunnel and can hear some water flowing nearby.
[[Go East|Ruined Temple Entrance Temp]]Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.The doorway in front of the crumbling temple has an inscription:
"Pass the four trials, and become one of us."
[[Enter the Temple|Temple Center]]<<if $TemplePuzzle is 4>><<else>>!Temple Center
[img[$NoUp]]
[img[$Left][Temple Left]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "40" height = "40">[img[$Right][Temple Right]]
[img[$Down][Ruined Temple Entrance]]<</if>>Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.!Temple Left
[img[$Up][Passage of Might]]
[img[$Left][Passage of Insight]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "40" height = "40">[img[$Right][Temple Center]]
[img[$NoDown]]<<if $ComradesDone is 1>>An energy force is keeping you from entering the passage...
[[Go Back|Temple Right]]<<else>>You enter the passage of comrades. All around you are pictures of orcs hugging, wrestling, talking, and er...fucking.
After traveling for some time, you come across a wall with many indentations on it. Above the indentations is an inscription:
"When the clock strikes nine, all will be safe."
Which do you press?
[[{o}|Wrong Comrades]] [[{o}|Wrong Comrades]] [[{o}|Wrong Comrades]]
[[{o}|Comrades2]] [[{o}|Wrong Comrades]] [[{o}|Wrong Comrades]]
[[{o}|Wrong Comrades]] [[{o}|Wrong Comrades]] [[{o}|Wrong Comrades]]<</if>>!Temple Right
[img[$Up][Passage of Comrades]]
[img[$Left][Temple Center]]<img src="https://www.dropbox.com/s/0jrlg6g6xs931ve/spacer.png?dl=1" width = "40" height = "40">[img[$Right][Passage of Courage]]
[img[$NoDown]]Double-click this passage to edit it.You're listening to Bubble Butt, the song used on the title screen and the results screen.
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "TitleResults" loop volume 0.50 play>><<set $TitlePlaying to 0>>
[[Go Back|Sound Test]]You're listening to Back On Top, the song played when exploring the tunnels under the city.
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "Tunnels" loop volume 0.50 play>><<set $TitlePlaying to 1>>
[[Go Back|Sound Test]]You're listening to Get Your Fuck On, the song used for sex scenes.
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "SexScene" loop volume 0.50 play>><<set $TitlePlaying to 1>>
[[Go Back|Sound Test]]You're listening to Slow Push, the song played when exploring the castle area.
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "Castle" loop volume 0.50 play>><<set $TitlePlaying to 1>>
[[Go Back|Sound Test]]--------------------------------------------------------------
Fun Fact!
There's tunnels in the city that lead into the castle. A few businesses were built over these tunnels. Nobody uses them though! Those tunnels are connected to an ancient crumbling orc temple worshipping a virility god named Th'Robb and for the safety of the public, and to keep that historic site intact, those businesses keep hatches that lead to the tunnels closed but available for emergencies. With a city as safe as Tuskany, we've never had to use em even once! <<set $FlyerNote to 1>>
K-1 V-3 Q-9
-------------------------------------------------------------
!!!This information was added to your notes.
[[Go Back|Outskirts]]--------------------------------------------------------------
Fun Fact!
There's tunnels in the city that lead into the castle. A few businesses were built over these tunnels. Nobody uses them though! Those tunnels are connected to an ancient crumbling orc temple worshipping a virility god named Th'Robb and for the safety of the public, and to keep that historic site intact, those businesses keep hatches that lead to the tunnels closed but available for emergencies. With a city as safe as Tuskany, we've never had to use em even once!
K-1 V-3 Q-9
-------------------------------------------------------------
[[Go Back|NotesScreen]]You're listening to Orc Strut, the song played when exploring the city of Tuskany.
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "City" loop volume 0.50 play>><<set $TitlePlaying to 0>>
[[Go Back|Sound Test]]<<if $GateGuardTalk is 5>>It looks like no guard has come to replace the one you pantsed. Guess his shift wasn't over after all...
[[Still Worth It|City Gates]]<<else>>There's a very uncomfortable looking orcish guard standing outside the open gates. He's a bit on the short side, and his uniform seems to have been cut to fit his body, making the bottom edges of the shirt a little frayed.
Do you want to talk with him?
[[Talk|Gate Guard][$GateGuardTalk to 0]]
[[Don't Talk|City Gates]]<</if>><<if $GateGuardTalk is 0>>The guard catches you walking towards him and stands up as straight as he possibly can and adjusts his shirt so the city's symbol, four tusks arranged to look like a mouth, is very clearly visible. He tries to hitch up his pants, but his poorly fitting uniform ends up making his bulge much more visible...which he isn't aware of. He clears his throat:
"How can I help you citizen, I mean visiting person? Tourist? How can I help you."
[["How you doin?"|Gate Guard][$GateGuardTalk to 1]]
[["What can you tell me about Tuskany?"|Gate Guard][$GateGuardTalk to 2]]
[["See ya!"|City Gates][$GateGuardTalk to 0]]<</if>><<if $GateGuardTalk is 1>>The guard coughs as his eyes widen for a second.
"How am I? Well... bored, I guess." He realises what he said and immediately starts backtracking in a panic. "I mean, not so bored I can't guard the city well. Especially on a day like today!"
[["What's today?"|Gate Guard][$GateGuardTalk to 3]]
[["What can you tell me about Tuskany?"|Gate Guard][$GateGuardTalk to 2]]
[["See ya!"|City Gates][$GateGuardTalk to 0]]<</if>><<if $GateGuardTalk is 2>>He closes his eyes for a second and then rattles off a veeeerrry speech about how Tuskany is the beautiful crown jewel of the orc kingdom. This response sounds like its part of his job, poor guy. The guard's eyes glaze over as he stares off into the distance.
"...A wonderful natural source of the purest water..."
"...and thousands flock here every year for celebrations..."
"...that's why we're very lucky to have both a mayor and a king in our city...
He's not paying attention...
[[*Pull His Pants Down*|Gate Guard][$GateGuardTalk to 4]]
[[Walk Away|City Gates][$GateGuardTalk to 0]]<</if>><<if $GateGuardTalk is 3>>He seems almost shocked. "You didn't know? Today is a huge celebration! The king is celebrating...er...something. Whatever it is, rich and famous orcs from all over the world are attending! I'm actually waiting for my shift to end soon so I can go to the party. I don't wanna miss a thing!
[["What can you tell me about Tuskany?"|Gate Guard][$GateGuardTalk to 2]]
[["See ya!"|City Gates][$GateGuardTalk to 0]]<</if>><<if $GateGuardTalk is 4>>You grip each side of the orc guard's pants and pull them down with as much force as you can, his cock and balls flopping out before he can even register what happened. His nuts look like a pair of green apricots, no wonder his bulge was that visible...
He starts blushing and tries to pull his pants up, but ends up ripping them in the process, some coins and a piece of the cloth falling to the ground.
"Y-you dick!" He yells flustered, hopping off into town trying to cover his junk. "My shift was over anyway!"
!!!You found a scrap of cloth. <<set $HasCloth to 1>>
!!!You found 3 silver coins! <<set $Treasure to $Treasure + 3>>
[[A Job Well Done|City Gates][$GateGuardTalk to 5]]<</if>>The road to Tuskany Castle is a rather lonely one, with a few trees on either side cradling a brick path. You can see the castle itself looming in the distance. <<if $Race is "Hawk">>Many party goers are hanging out on the balconies, some talking, some dancing, and a couple of them are fist fighting while others cheer on.<</if>><<if $Race is "Lizard">>The smell of orc musk is already nearly overwhelming...<</if>><<if $Race is "Wolf">>You can hear lots of chatter coming from the windows and balconies of the castle. Most cheerful, but some of it very angry.<</if>><<if $Race is "Unicorn">>The magic used on the castle is extremely powerful, almost overwhelming.<</if>><<if $Race is "Human">>You have a really bad feeling about this...<</if>>
[[Go Back|Castle Road]]Beyond the castle gates you can see tons of orcs interacting with each other, but the large iron bars keep you from seeing anything else.
[[Go Back|Castle Gates]]You see a couple guards in front of the gates chatting to each other.
[[Talk to Them|Castle Guards]]
[[Leave Them Alone|Castle Gates]]For being in the capital of the orc city, the park is very modest. A circle of trees bearing fruit, and a few benches near a fountain with a statue of an orc with a sword in one hand and a book in the other. An orcish couple is making out next to the tree, and a few of the bushes seem to be shaking in the wind...but there's not much wind.
[[Look at the Fountain|City Park Fountain]]
[[Look at the Couple|City Park Couple]]
[[Look at the Bushes|City Park Bushes]]
[[Look at Nothing|City Park]]Before you can speak to the castle guards they rush you. "Oh no, not again. We've already had one bandit, we ain't dealing with another!" one of them says while lifting you up.
"Toss him in the tunnels, we can fish him out later!" the other suggests.
The two of them open a hatch near the gates and toss you into it, causing you to tumble down a dark shaft til you hit water.
[[>>>|Tunnel Entrance B]]Which paper do you wanna read?
[[Recruitment Post]]
[[Wanted Post]]
[[Missing Post]]
[[None of Them|Guard House]]---------------------------------------------
!ATTENTION
The guard is looking for a few new men!
Inquire at the castle, must be an orc to apply!
Ask for General Zug!
Protect your kingdom and bare your tusks to our enemies!
---------------------------------------------
[[Go Back|Guard House Corkboard]]---------------------------------------
!WANTED
There's a bandit running around the city, stealing things from innocent unaware orcs! His calling card seems to be giving the man's rear end a hard swat before leaving with his plundered goods!
If you have any information, contact General Zug at the castle!
---------------------------------------
[[Go Back|Guard House Corkboard]]------------------------------------------
!MISSING
My military jacket is gone! I'm sure that bandit is to blame! If you have any information, please come to the castle! That jacket has many charms on it, each with vast magical power. In the wrong hands...
Let me know ASAP if you find anything!
PS- If you know why the bandit swats his victim's butts, PLEASE tell me! I'm very very confused. And sore.
-General Zug
------------------------------------------
[[Go Back|Guard House Corkboard]]The fountain's waters are crystal clear and very relaxing. It almost makes you wanna gaze into them for hours...
<<if $FountainMoney is 1>><<else>>At the bottom of the fountain's pool are some gold coins.
Nobody's gonna miss them, right?
!!!You found 4 gold coins!<<set $Treasure to $Treasure +8>><<set $FountainMoney to 1>><</if>>
[[Go Back|City Park]]
<<if $ExhibOrcs is 1>>The duo are still going at it, now the smaller one is stroking his partner's cock, and the larger is fingering the smaller orc's hole. At this point they're too caught up in fucking each other to notice you watching them, so you take a moment to appreciate the spectacle.
[[Go Back|City Park]]<<else>>The couple notice your eyes on them, and try to give you a show. The larger of the two pulls his partner's pants down and jiggles his round orc butt.
"Like what you see?" he chuckles as he spreads the smaller orc's cheeks and starts rubbing his hole. "No guards around cuz of the party. We can do this aaaaaall day." You start rubbing your bulge, but remember you got work to do. Damn. <<set $ExhibOrcs to 1>>
[[Go Back|City Park]]<</if>><<if $BushOrc is 1>>You creep towards the bushes and carefully peek inside...
Huh. Guess this time it really was wind shaking these bushes.
[[Go Back|City Park]]<<else>>Not knowing what to expect, you slowly walk towards the shaking bushes. Maybe its a bird, and birds sometimes steal jewelry! You gently part the bushes to see...
An orc jerking off looking at the couple making out.
Well that's not a bird.
"Go the fuck away!" He says without even slowing down his stroking. "Wait a minute, I have an idea!" The orc grabs you and pulls you into the bush pushing your mouth down onto his cock.
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "SexScene" loop volume 0.50 play>><<set $TitlePlaying to 1>>
[[>>>|Bushes 2]]<</if>>Unusually, the city square is basically empty, with a few people hurrying along to their destinations. At the center of the square is a large posting of tons of different events coming up, tonights party at the castle of course being the biggest.
Would you like to look at the schedule?
[[Yes|Schedule]]
[[No|City Square]]None of the local shops are open today, probably because of the holiday. Despite that, one stand seems to be running anyway. Even though the shops are closed, many of them have balloons and shiny charms hanging off of their doors and windows. <<if $Race is "Wolf">> You faintly hear running water underneath you.<</if>>
[[Go Back|Shopping Area]]You attempt to stop multiple people for a chat, but they brush you off and keep to their schedules. Orcs must be taking this celebration very seriously!
[[Go Back|City Square]]Theres an old orc sitting on a bench, and a young man running some kind of sales stand.
Which do you wanna talk to?
[[The Salesman|Orc Salesman Temp]]
[[The Old Orc|Old Orc]]!Cloth Scrap
A scrap of cloth from the pants of that orc guard. It smells really strongly of crotch musk.
[[Go Back|InventoryScreen]]---------------------------------------------------
5:00 PM - Opening Ceremonies
6:00 PM - Castle Tours Open
9:00 PM - Band Performance
11:00 PM - Initiations
12:00 PM - End
---------------------------------------------------
[[Go Back|City Square]]"Oh yeah, this feels MUCH fuckin' better!" He chuckles as he pushes your head down and up, forcing you to deepthroat his thick throbbing cock. You can't tell if it's from the lack of air or his strong orc musk, but you start feeling lightheaded really quickly and stop putting up resistance, turning into his personal sex toy.
"Boy, they're really goin at it." he whispers as he stops pushing your head and starts thrusting his hips, hitting the back of your throat with his huge cockhead each thrust.
"I'm getting so fuckin' close..."
[[>>>|Bushes 3]]The orc lets out a loud grunt and thrusts deep into your throat. You can feel his warm cum filling you up more and more each time his dick throbs. Eventually he lets go of you and you fall back, both you and the orc panting and gasping.
"Uhh, here," he says pulling up his pants. The orc tosses you a few silver and walks out of the bushes.
[[>>>|Bushes 4]]The manhole cover easily flips up, revealing a metal ladder and what appears to be a long shaft. Intensly curious, you descend down the ladder, each step producing a loud clang.
Around the time you get halfway down the manhole slams shut, raining a small amount dust down on you. Guess you're finding some other way out of here...
[[>>>|Tunnel Entrance A]] The salesman's face lightens as you come towards him. "Why hello there! I have many fine wares, surely one of them will interest you!
[[Why are you still open?|Orc Salesman 2]]
[[Buy Items|Shop]]
[[See Ya|Shopping Area]]<<if $GiveCloth is 1>>The old man is still sniffing the scrap of cloth, you gotta admire how dedicated he is to being horny.
[[Go Back|Shopping Area]]<<else>>"how are you this afternoon, m'boy?" the old orc chuckles as you approach him. It's a clear sunny day and you're about to make a ton of money, so you can't deny you're doing great.
"Good! That's good..." he trails off. "So, how much you packin' down there? The jovial orc cups your bulge in his hands before you have a chance to react. "Not bad at all. Reminds me a bit of that guard at the town gate, he looks like he's smuggling some fruit in his pants!" he laughs. "I bet his fat nuts smell amazing!"
<<if $SeenClothScrap is 1>>
[[Offer Him the Cloth Scrap|OldManCloth]]
<</if>>[[Say Goodbye to the Pervy Old Man|Shopping Area]]<</if>>
He scoffs at you. "Look around buddy, I got no competition! With all the other salesmen at the party, this here's a monopoly."
Can't argue with that.
"You gonna buy something or what?"
[[Buy Something|Shop]]
[[Or What|Shopping Area]]"What do you want?"
<<if $SeenStrengthHerb is 1>>-SOLD OUT-<<else>>[[Strength Herb]]<</if>>
<<if $SeenPepperPowder is 1>>-SOLD OUT-<<else>>[[Pepper Powder]]<</if>>
<<if $SeenHeadyPerfume is 1>>-SOLD OUT-<<else>>[[Heady Perfume]]<</if>>
<<if $SeenMagicRope is 1>>-SOLD OUT-<<else>>[[Magic Rope]]<</if>>
[[Nothin|Shopping Area]]"Got your eyes on a Strength Herb huh? It's an all around miracle cure for whatever ails ya!"
<<if $Race is "Tanuki">>"For you, it's gonna be 7 G. You want it?
[[Buy|Strength Herb Buy Tanuki]]
[[No Thanks|Shop]]<<else>>For you, it's gonna be 10 G. You want it?
[[Buy|Strength Herb Buy]]
[[No Thanks|Shop]]<</if>>"Got your eyes on a Strength Herb huh? It's an all around miracle cure for whatever ails ya!"
<<if $Race is "Tanuki">>"For you, it's gonna be 7 G. You want it?
[[Buy|Strength Herb Buy Tanuki]]
[[No Thanks|Shop]]<<else>>For you, it's gonna be 10 G. You want it?
[[Buy|Strength Herb Buy]]
[[No Thanks|Shop]]<</if>>"Got your eyes on a Strength Herb huh? It's an all around miracle cure for whatever ails ya!"
<<if $Race is "Tanuki">>"For you, it's gonna be 7 G. You want it?
[[Buy|Strength Herb Buy Tanuki]]
[[No Thanks|Shop]]<<else>>For you, it's gonna be 10 G. You want it?
[[Buy|Strength Herb Buy]]
[[No Thanks|Shop]]<</if>>!Magic Rope
An enchanted rope that latches itself to anything the user intends it to, and cannot be broken unless its owner wishes it to. Very handy!
[[Go Back|InventoryScreen]]"Got your eyes on a Strength Herb huh? It's an all around miracle cure for whatever ails ya!"
<<if $Race is "Tanuki">>"For you, it's gonna be 7 G. You want it?
[[Buy|Strength Herb Buy Tanuki]]
[[No Thanks|Shop]]<<else>>For you, it's gonna be 10 G. You want it?
[[Buy|Strength Herb Buy]]
[[No Thanks|Shop]]<</if>>The old orc's eyes light up as he sees you take out the scrap. "Is that what I think it is?" he says with a gasp. You nod affirmatively.
<<set $GiveCloth to 1>>
The old man takes it and gives the cloth a long sniff. "Even better than I thought. You're alright boy. Lemme give you a tip. Orcs have really sensitive cocks. Way more sensitive than other races. If you give it enough attention, we're putty in your hands!" he chuckles.
[[>>>|Shopping Area]]You gently push down on an indentation...
<<set $Race to "Minotaur">>
The button clicks into place and the wall begins to descend. Behind it though is a statue of an orc holding a large silver pitcher, and when the wall hits the floor, the pitcher tilts, splashing you with its fluid contents.
<<if $Race is "Minotaur">>The contents seem to have no effect on you.
[[Go On|Comrades2]]<<else>>You feel the liquid start to sap your strength.
!!!You are now cursed!
[[Go On|Comrades2]]<</if>>[[Comrades2]]You hesitently press down on an indentation that feels a little different to you, and you hear a click.
<<set $TemplePuzzle to $TemplePuzzle + 1>><<set $ComradesDone to 1>>
Suddenly a bright light flashes, and you're back in the temple's center room.
[[>>>|Temple Center]]
<<if $HaveStrengthHerb is 1>>Luckily, you have a strength herb for just the occassion. After chewing on the terrible thing for a short time, you feel your strength returning to you.<<else>>Slowly picking yourself up, you resolve to keep going, this shit ain't gonna keep you from those riches...<<set $Status to "Cursed">><</if>>
[[Go On|Comrades2]]
Not wanting to pass up a free blowjob, you drop your pants and thrust your cock towards the orc's lips.
"Mmm you smell great," he says, before kissing your cockhead and engulfing it with his mouth.
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "SexScene" loop volume 0.50 play>><<set $TitlePlaying to 1>>
The way he runs his tongue over your tip makes your toes curl and you can't help but let out a few low moans with each swirl.
[[>>>|Bar Blowjob 2]]You turn down the extremely horny orc on the other side of the hole. You got shit to do today.
You find a manhole cover in one of the corners... Maybe this leads somewhere?
[[Bar Manhole]]You're currently completely sober, and Smitty looks completely sober too.
What're you gonna do?
[[Take a Shot|Drinking Game Continue][$Drunkness to Drunkness + Random(1,3)]]
[[Call it Quits|Drinking Game Bad End]]notes
Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it."I heard lotsa rumors, but I ain't sayin em for free!"
<<if $Race is "Tanuki">> "For you, it's 4G a pop!"
[[Old Man Rumor|Old Man Rumor Tanuki]]
[[Waterway Rumor|Waterway Rumor Tanuki]]
[[Castle Rumor|Castle Rumor Tanuki]]
[[Bar Rumor|Bar Rumor Tanuki]]<<else>"For you, it's 6G a pop!"
[[Old Man Rumor|Old Man Rumor]]
[[Waterway Rumor|Waterway Rumor]]
[[Castle Rumor|Castle Rumor]]
[[Bar Rumor|Bar Rumor]]<</if>>
Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it."Cmon big guy, fuck my face! I wanna feel you unload in my throat," the cocksucker pants. Quickly putting your hands against the wall for support, you thrust into your partner's throat with as much force as you can manage, treating him like your personal sex toy.
And he fuckin loves every minute of it. You hear loud moans coming from the other side of the wall, letting you know this is exactly what he wanted.
[[>>>|Bar Blowjob 3]]Before long you let out a loud grunt and cum balls deep in the orc's throat. After a few seconds he pulls his mouth off of your cock with a satisfied slurp. "Thanks, stud."
[[>>>|Bar Blowjob 4]]The shady guy coughs."I ain't done with my drink. I'll chat with you some other time. Though...you didn't hear it from me, but I heard that whenever the king gives a speech, he does it without any pants! True story."
[[Go Back|Bar Redux]]You walk up to the hulking musclebound bartender and read that his nametag says "Smitty".
Must be the owner. Or an orc so big they decided to name the bar after him.
"We're gonna be doing a drinking contest soon, I'd love to see how much you can put away," he says with a sly grin. If you're looking for fun before then, I bet there's someone in the bathroom who's feeling a little lonely." With that tip and a little wink, he goes back to polishing a glass.
[[>>>|Bar Redux]]In future updates, additions and changes will be added here for you. Not right now, because the changes are everything. :V
[[Go Back|Options]]You're listening to The Ancient Ones, the song for when you're exploring the crumbling temple.
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "Temple" loop volume 0.50 play>><<set $TitlePlaying to 1>>
[[Go Back|Sound Test]]The guys are still at the doorway...
What will you do?
[[Talk to Shifty Guy|Rumors Guy]] [[Talk to Bartender|Smitty Talk]] [[Go to the Bathroom|Bar Bathroom]]At least you got something out of this other than a sore throat...
!!!You got 4 silver coins! <<set $Treasure to $Treasure +4>> <<set $BushOrc to 1>>
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "City" loop volume 0.50 play>>
[[>>>|City Park]]The orc salesman shakes his head as you walk towards him. "I'm sorry bud, I'm all out of products. You'll have to come back another time."
He looks left and right. "Well, not completely out of products. I do have this cigar I've been testing, but so far no takers. Wanna try? I'll give it to you for free!"
[[Smoke that Shit|Smoke Bad End]]
[[Nevermind|Shopping Area]]Pulling your pants back up, you notice a manhole in the corner of the bathroom, usually bathrooms don't have that kinda thing, right?
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "City" loop volume 0.50 play>>
[[Check it Out|Bar Manhole]]Not wanting to pass up a free cigar, you grab it from the salesman's hand and give it a sniff.
Smells like cherries. And orcs. Big musky orcs. You feel your loins stir at the scent and quickly put the smoke in your mouth.
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "SexScene" loop volume 0.50 play>><<set $TitlePlaying to 1>>"Need a light?" the salesman asks as he produces a small flame with the snap of his fingers, then brings it to the tip of the cigar. Immediately green smoke starts pouring off the end of it, making the orc scent much much thicker.
[[>>>|Smoke Bad End 2]]
The need to smoke overtakes you. You start puffing and puffing, your head getting fuzzier and fuzzier, your cock getting harder and harder. The salesman only grins a toothy grin as you feel your balls getting heavier and your shoulders becoming broader. Once you notice a large tusk on each side of the cigar, it hits you.
You're becoming an orc!
[[>>>|Smoke Bad End 3]]"Ooh, looks like you're a fast changer, huh big boy?" the salesman giggles. "The king's gonna love having a new guy in town, and judging by the rock hard cock in your pants, you're gonna fit right in!" He hops out from behind his little stand and pulls your pants down. "Trust me, you'll thank me for this." You can only grin and nod back to him.
[[>>>|Smoke Bad End 4]]He exhales on his index finger to warm it up, and then starts rubbing your cockhead in a circular motion. It feels better than sex has ever felt before, what little brain activity you had going on is completely short circuited as you let out a loud grunt and start shooting huge loads of cum for what feels like forever.
"Well then," the salesman says once you're finally done. "I think it's time you went and met your new king."
[[BAD END|Smoke Bad End 5]]Looks like your adventure has come to an end, but it doesn't have to be that way. Let's put you back somewhere safe, before you made that decision...
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "City" loop volume 0.50 play>>
[[Go Back|Shopping Area]]Double-click this passage to edit it.After walking for a while you come across an ancient crumbling temple. You're extremely nervous, but something compels you to keep going forward into its dark depths.
Eventually you come across a large pattern in the middle of an empty room, a light from above illuminating the entire thing. Upon examination it looks like a large man with an outline around him, surrounded by symbols you don't recognize.
[[>>>|RET2]]Suddenly you feel a jolt in your arm! When you try to shake it off, you realize that you can't control that limb anymore, and it starts to rise on its own. The jolt spreads to your shoulders, your abdomen, and eventually the rest of your body, and then you're stuck standing there.
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "SexScene" loop volume 0.50 play>>
"Wow, we got a hot one today, didn't we?" a deep voice says using your mouth. "We should play with him for a while before letting go!"
[[>>>|RET3]]One of your hands starts groping your ass while the other starts to fondle your bulge. Even though you can't control their actions, you still feel it!
"Just relax and let us do our thing, stud," the deep voice says. "Us ghosts have thousands of years of experience!" Suddenly your pants are pulled down by an invisible force, and you hear some chuckles. "I brought some friends, if you don't mind!"
[[>>>|RET4]]What follows is a barrage of invisible hands groping your whole body, stroking your cock, fingering your ass, pinching your nipples, it's all overwhelming!
"Lemme give you your body back so we can hear those moans!" the spirit says as you feel the jolt and, and as soon as you get your body back you let out grunts and moans that in any other situation would embarrass you with how slutty you sound.
"Attaboy!" the ghost laughs.
[[>>>|RET5]]Their fun goes long into the night, with them milking orgasm after orgasm out of you. Each of the orc spirits in the temple wants a try at the fresh meat, and your brain is way too fried and you are WAY too into it to say no.
You miss the chance to get the treasure, but you found something way more interesting!
[[>>>|RET6]]Looks like your adventure has come to an end, but it doesn't have to be that way. Let's put you back somewhere safe, before you made that decision...
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "City" loop volume 0.50 play>>
[[Go Back|Castle Gates]]You lift up the lid of the shaft and find yourself in a very cramped space. Crawling forward, eventually you bump your head on something wooden and lift it out of the way, coming into a confined spot where you can hear someone speaking loudly.
"I'm so happy to see you all gathered here tonight, as your host I hope you all enjoy tonight's food and festivities!" a very deep and smooth voice booms.
Holy shit you're somewhere in the castle auditorium!
[[>>>|Orc Speech Temp 2]]You turn to reorient yourself, and notice that you see a pair of thick muscular green legs. And a huge orc cock.
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "SexScene" loop volume 0.50 play>>
"Guess the rumors are true, the king DOES give speeches without any pants on." you chuckle to yourself.
Since you're here, you might as well make this a little more interesting for his audience.
[[>>>|Orc Speech Temp 3]]"My countrymen, it is such an honor to be speaking to you all today. Such an occasion rarely rISES?" the king stammers as you start fondling his cock and balls. *ahem* "As I was saying, the occasion rarely rises where I get ahold of it, I mean get to be around orcs from all walks of life"
At this point you've gone on to stroking his dick, feeling it throb with heat in your hand as the king struggles to continue his speech as his cock is being milked.
[[>>>|Orc Speech Temp 4]]"Though we have long argued with the Tanuki for years to have b-better border relations, I'mmmmm happy to tell you all that a union between our peoples is no longer a f-fuh-fantasy oh god..." he pants as you start sucking on his bulbous cockhead and massaging his balls.
As he tries to maintain composure you feel his nuts tighten, knowing that one little push is all it takes to send him over the edge, and you're about to give it to him.
[[>>>|Orc Speech Temp 5]]You deepthroat the orc king's fat cock down to the base and hear him let out a loud groan and a thump as he braces against his podium for support. Before long thick ropes of orc cum start filling your throat, letting you know you did a job well done.
"Hey, there's a guy doing something to the king!" an orc guard cries out.
Uh oh...
[[>>>|Orc Speech Temp 6]]Being cramped up behind a podium, it isn't hard for the orcish guard to overwhelm you and carry you off to a cell. Being held prisoner, you miss your chance to grab the orc kings treasure, but you hear a few of the guards talking about him apparently wanting to appoint you as his "assistant speech writer".
<<masteraudio stop>><<audio "City" loop volume 0.50 play>>
[[>>>|Orc Speech Temp 7]]Looks like your adventure has come to an end, but it doesn't have to be that way. Let's put you back somewhere safe, before you made that decision...
[[Go Back|City Square]]